The Mighty Dragon

rate? comment? im gonna post it on the "society of fairies of old" group page

 I am the grand dragon of this castle,

        Im know from far to near.

So I’ll ask you just once friend,

        What are you doing here?

 

I cut through the air like a sword,

        And shake the ground when I walk .

And I shall breathe fire upon you, and turn  your bones to rock.

 

I am the grand dragon of this castle,

        that’s who I’ve always been.

Of all who have ever entered here, none have left again.

 

So you see, you have sealed your fate my friend by merely walking in.

There will be nothing  left of you, it will be as though you had never been.

Author's Note

wat do you think?

Reviews

[Weaver]

"Im know from far to near" - "I'm known from far to near" - I like how you flipped the standard expression "near to far" around.
"ask you just once friend" - comma after "once"
"And I shall breathe fire upon you" - Meter seems off here - maybe "And I shall breathe my fire on you" instead?
"Of all who have ever entered here" - "Of all who've ever entered here" (meter)
"your fate my friend by" - commas before and after "my friend"
"it will be as though you had never been" - "as though you'd never been" (meter)
Nice driving iambic meter, generally - sounds like the footsteps of the dragon (what Tolkien called "the tramp of doom" *g*)

[Moonflower]

Hmmmm...Very nice, Fierce dragon ;)

[the-One-with-the-Darkne..]

I love this! sweet! mt history teacher would love this! lol

[Poetry Girl]

i liked this poem, it was good. its very... midevil. kind of like... a fairy tail in a way. great job!

[KaySea]

i found this to be very enjoyable

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

fantastically wonderful~ a very enjoyable read!~

[(JR) Joshua Hernandez]

ooh, very nice and poetic, Ilike the details awesome

[Jonathan De Elvira]

Hurm....dude, write a story about this one..:P
no, seriously, nice imagination u got there u know??
My head keeps on thinking about the grand emperor of fire breathing dragon while reading this...

[Miss Coral]

Nice little rhyming scheme.. in the second line, it should be "I'm known".

I would look at the structure, and add in some more line breaks to keep up consistency.. otherwise, nice job. :)

-Coral-

[Ashley]

this is really good. it origonal and interesting. i think the rhyme really helps shape the character of the dragon. well done

[Cynthia]

I think it's a unusual topic, not many people write about this topic
Nice Work!