The Mighty Dragon

rate? comment? im gonna post it on the "society of fairies of old" group page

 I am the grand dragon of this castle,

        Im know from far to near.

So I’ll ask you just once friend,

        What are you doing here?

 

I cut through the air like a sword,

        And shake the ground when I walk .

And I shall breathe fire upon you, and turn  your bones to rock.

 

I am the grand dragon of this castle,

        that’s who I’ve always been.

Of all who have ever entered here, none have left again.

 

So you see, you have sealed your fate my friend by merely walking in.

There will be nothing  left of you, it will be as though you had never been.

Author's Note

wat do you think?

Reviews

[Weaver]

"Im know from far to near" - "I'm known from far to near" - I like how you flipped the standard expression "near to far" around.
"ask you just once friend" - comma after "once"
"And I shall breathe fire upon you" - Meter seems off here - maybe "And I shall breathe my fire on you" instead?
"Of all who have ever entered here" - "Of all who've ever entered here" (meter)
"your fate my friend by" - commas before and after "my friend"
"it will be as though you had never been" - "as though you'd never been" (meter)
Nice driving iambic meter, generally - sounds like the footsteps of the dragon (what Tolkien called "the tramp of doom" *g*)

[Brittany]

I love the fantasy aspect of it and the rhyme scheme and word choice is fantastic. Great job(:

[Poetic Beauty]

I love this poem. I like fantasy and this poem is great. The dragon seems to come to life and you give him words to speak. The flow of the poem is done well.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

This was a good. I really enjoyed it. It kind of brought suspense for me. That's always a good thing in my opinion. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Author Rucha Joshi]

One word ~ FANTASTIC!!!

[Coyote Poetry]

I'm not much for games and things. I'm old and boring. Being a Grand dragon would be a interesting part of a castle. I like the ending. A interesting poem.
Coyote

[Nina Kari]

i love the last line, idky but i do, its just a awesome write. its like i understand the dragon doesnt want to kill people but its his job, he has no choice. he cant just let you leave, so u must die :D

[r]

omg, that's amazing. I love it, it's just GENUIS. xD

[SimplyDisastrous]

I think it's freaking genius! Definitely a favorite of mine. The detail is perfect in every way.

[Angelauthor1204]

nicely done.