Whatever you choose (all you will loose)

recently in my life i have been handed so many big questions it is mind numbing...and i feel like the physical place where i am is halting the my own personal mental expansion..

Dearly beloved we are gathered here today,

Because this chump here has got something to say.

It doesn’t matter how much you listen,

Or the amount of attention you pay!

Because nothing you could do,

would ever change what he'll say!

 

Broken apart!

Beat down withdrawal,

Pounding heart!

In love and out fall!

 

I should not feel this way,

Everything held back.

I need to end or say,

Bring to light or fade to black!

 

And it all breaks down to whatever you choose.

Because the love you may gain is nothing,

Compared to the love you will loose.

 

No, no one chose for me,

And nobody sat back.

Adequately pushing,

Give me the courage I know I lack!

 

You say I'm found wanting,

Your blessings never come back.

You’re the one counting,

And now here's the attack!

 

And it all breaks down to whatever you choose.

Because the love you may gain is nothing,

Compared to the love you will loose.

 

Whatever I choose,

Everything I'll loose…

What will I gain,

Anything but pain?

Desperate longing,

Constant wrong things?

 

And there is no redo,

now I beseech you!

Nothing to tell you,

Go on with your life,

I've given up on you,

Without so much as a single fight!

 

And it all breaks down to whatever you choose.

Because the love you may gain is nothing,

Compared to the love you will loose.

Author's Note

recently in my life i have been handed so many big questions it is mind numbing...and i feel like the physical place where i am is halting the my own personal mental expansion. my medical problems keep getting worse.. and i feel like i have hit a sophomore slump at the age of 20.... three years ago i thought i would be dead by now... sometimes i wish that was the case i guess... nothing is happening and every time i try to get something started, something serious, like my kidney disease gets in the way......

Reviews

[613]

I'm sure people have told you this before - but you really should notice all of the amazing things in your life. I mean, you're breathing, for one. That's a major deal right there. Too many people don't even have that anymore. You're able to express your feelings, that's two. So many people do not have the ability to think due to a brain injury or don't have the capacity to express themselves because they were never taught to do so in the right way. You have the ability to think, to feel - those who are gone no longer have that. I am very sorry for your kidney disease; I can't relate so I won't say I know what you're going through. However, I will say (out of my own experiences with physical & mental suffering), dying seemed like the easy thing to do. But I found a reason to live & I found a way to live with what I was given. You choose how to feel about you & what you have or don't have. I just hope you see how blessed you are to be alive, no matter the amount of suffering. I also hope you heal fast.

- Brittney