His Confessions

The writer, a teenager, looks back at his own flawed life through a second person's viewpoint.

He’s an egotist. He tries too hard to excel in something he knows he fails miserably at. He believes he writes well and forces his unimpressed brother to read every sentence he’s written and comment on it. He believes he’s too important to involve in casual conversation, thus giving his coyness a new name.

He imposes his sister on everything, or rather tries to; she’s long since stopped listening to him. Right now he’s wondering if he’s a bit too harsh on himself, calling oneself an egotist. He ponders for a moment and pens the next sentence: a contradiction with his earlier conclusion.

He’s rather humble. He ‘knows’ he cannot do better at school and doesn’t bother trying. Sometimes he doesn’t take responsibility of something nice he’s done and watches morosely, tongue-tied, as someone else takes the credit.

He’s bad. He uses angry words at his sister who unfortunately has learned to throw them back at him with double intensity. He drives his mom and dad mad with his careless behavior and aloofness. He’s been in all sorts of company.

At school, he’s close friends with history loving nerds to drug addict boys but has, thankfully, learned next to none traits from the latter group. Still, he’s no saint and he knows it.

He’s only 14.

He makes mistakes. He knows what he should and shouldn’t do, but often ignores this inner feeling of his. He’s me. He doesn’t want to be me. He has ambitions, lusts, dreams. And he rationalizes too. He says he’s just human.

Reviews

[Lorraine]

Oh, I'm sure by he's really humble. It's not so easy to admit one's flaws, write it down, and share it to a vast number of people. While I was reading this, I pictured my brother as the boy, and realized that you and him probably shares some traits. Being human is okay, so long as you acknowledge it as a fact, and use it as a positive reason for you to aim for what you are not capable of doing. I think it's also natural to like your own works. When writers write, they tend to pour out a great amount of who they are in what they are writing, that's why liking your writing is almost the same as liking yourself. Anyway, I guess I'm being too philosophical, forgive me. Nice piece. Very expressive and sincere. Good Job. Good luck with the contest.

Keep Writing. ^___^

[Marie Anzalone]

A truly honest piece of work- and that is very rare in a young writer. Very beautiful.

[absynthestar]

I think the idea of looking at yourself though history is good, however, the story needs work. I like the contradiction of the two, humility and pride. Makes you wonder if he's one or the other, and that idea would have worked if you had developed the humility point some more. You could have even elaborated on his ego by calling himself humble.

Most of the paragraphs could have something else tacked onto them. Think about who you are and who you've become since that time and see what else you can add.

Perhaps you could use some more adjectives other than Bad... Emphasize the duality of humanity - the hypocrite and the truth, the manners and the rebellion...

Am I talking too much?

[.]

It's very hard to detect one's own flaws, and you've done it incredibly well

I liked the closing lines:

"Still, he's no saint and he knows it.

He's only 14.

He makes mistakes. He knows what he should and shouldn't do, but often ignores this inner feeling of his. He's me. He doesn't want to be me. He has ambitions, lusts, dreams. And he rationalizes too. He says he's just human."

Greatly penned, i loved it ..