Brother Where Are You?

I walk the same dark trail every night, gives me the creeps.

The sun is going down and your pace quickens

You know it will be ten times as dark where your headed.

 

You encourage your little brother to walk a little fast

But he's too tired to keep going.

 

But he must.

 

You turn to face the dark wooded trail

It's pitch black as it leads down toward a small creek.

 

You push your brother along

his fear is too much, he wont step in.

 

You force him into the forest

knowing you must get home.

 

Starting your descent into the black, you reasure him

and your self everything will be fine.

 

The ground is muddy from the recent thunderstorm,

slime covers the path making you lose your balance.

 

You both tumble down the hill to your left

plunging into the icy cold creek

 

Gasping for air you search for your brother

lost in the night

 

Pulling yourself out of the currents and onto the wet earth

you call to your brother.

 

No reply.

 

Your phone is wet, there is not an ounce of light,

and you know if you head the wrong direction

you will be stuck in these woods forever.

 

You get up and search for the trail

and trip over a body and onto concrete.

 

Screaming, you back into a tree and fall to your knee's.

Going back to look at the limp body you see its your brother,

your responsibility.

 

He's breathing, but the temperature is dropping fast

he will soon be hypothermic.

 

Lifting your thirteen year old brother onto your back

You follow the trail, up the steep climb a miles walk up hill.

 

Covered in mudd you carry him,

your legs weak and straining for another step.

 

A street light appears.

 

You sigh in relief and you look down at your palms.

They are covered in blood.

 

Its not mudd after all.

 

You set your brother on the ground

and work at his shirt, were you find the source of the blood.

 

There is a broken rib penetrating from his chest.

His breathing is labored.

 

Screaming at the top of your lungs you realize your voice is gone.

It's too cold and your too wet to make a sound.

 

You know if you dont get him home he will die.

And It will be your fault.

 

You lift him, hearing him mumble incoherantly

Starting to cry and moan from pain.

 

Two blocks left to go.

 

You push your body to it's limits

as the cold takes your breath

slows your heart.

 

One block away.

 

You fall.

 

Get back up and fall again.

This time not getting up.

 

You can feel your body slipping away..

a street lamp just in your view...

 

There is a man walking away

He doesnt see you

 

Can't give up yet

It's do or die

 

You try to call for help

but your voice is gone

 

You can't lift your body up anymore

Your too heavy to handle

 

There is only one option left

you use all your energy to pick up a rock and throw it through a car window

setting off the alarm

 

before you hit the ground.

 

 

 

beep...beep...beep

 

You open your eyes

can here the beeping from the machine to your right

and people talking to your left.

 

You try to speak

no words again.

 

Frustrated you slam your hand down

to get someone's attention.

 

They look at you with relief.

 

You know your brother is alright.

 

They ask you what happened.

They are amazed you lasted so long.

 

You ask to see the man that saved you.

The man you saw walking down the street.

 

There was no man they said.

Only the alram which woke the neighbors.

 

You see the look of worry on their faces and dont press on.

 

You know there was no man.

But that is what was needed to save your brother.

So you did.

Reviews

[Comatose]

Wow, this is a beautiful peice. Very well written, and I love the idea behind the story. Well done. ^^

[Amber "Victoriomantic" ..]

Very powerful poem. The beginning conveyed a sense of Hanzel and Gretel; walking through the forest, desperate to get home etc.

The poem definitely expresses perfectly the fear and panic of walking through the woods at night, of trying to look after the brother and get him to safety, and also of the love between siblings.

Great use of the second tense; really forced the reader to empathise with the narrator and helps put across the feelings of panic and desperation even better.

My only qualm is that there were a few grammar mistakes, but the poem was a wonderful read.