Remembering the numbers

I remember the numbers.

My heart rate speeding up

My muscles Tightening.

As the numbers went down.

 

I did not know

My heart could beat

so many times in one minute.

Like the beating of drums.

 

The morning chill.

The dew on the grass.

Sun just rising,

The new day just starting.

 

If only I'd went the other direction,

my morning would have been brighter.

This wouldnt be happening.

 

"He asked me somthing didn't he?

Oh, I wish I could remember what he asked."

 

3...2...1

 

Man: "Where is my son?"

 

(Run away, Run away!)

Oh duh, thats what he's here for

(Move feet move!)

 

I dont know why,

my feet wouldnt move,

they were not the problem though.

 

You see

My arms could

and they were causing the problem.

 

Pulling out the knife

wasnt a good idea.

Trying to use it was worse.

 

I remember the numbers.

 

If only I'd went the other direction.

If only I could have moved my feet.

 

He wouldnt be kidnapping me right now.

There of course was the option, to tell him where his son was.

But that didnt even come to mind.

 

If only I'd went the other direction

If only my feet would have moved

 

I remember the numbers

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

This is a gripping, vivid write that captured my attention brilliantly. Your glimpses into the mind... the sense of fear and anxiousness... how powerfully you convey the world in all its complexity...

[cheeeeese]

Chilling and a bit suspenseful, I really enjoyed reading this and couldn't peel my eyes off of this piece. This was very well-written, and I like that phrase 'I remember the numbers'. Very unique piece, keep it up! :)

[Matt]

creeeepy! lol i like this.

[MattWheatus]

Dark, chilling but effective! Great write. The way the feel of the sentence "I remember the numbers" changes from the start the end as the meaning attached grows is fantastic - it ends with such an ominous feel. Good work!