Fate has Decided

"I don't know why,
I am feeling this way.
It is not right please go away.

I don't want to hurt you,
Please understand.
I have to leave,
But I don't think I can.

I know if I do,
I'll always regret.
I want you to know:
I'll never forget.

You were the one,
Who made me feel alive.
No one else can,
No one else has tried.

I don't want to hurt you,
Please understand,
I have to leave
But I don't think I can.

Together we fall,
Apart you can stand,
Fate has decided
What I am"

Author's Note

Do you think it rhymes too much?

Reviews

[Emily]

Here we go, another piece,

"I don't know why,
I am feeling this way.
It is not right please go away.

I don't want to hurt you,
Please understand.
I have to leave,
But I don't think I can.

I know if I do,
I'll always regret.
I want you to know:
I'll never forget.

You were the one,
Who made me feel alive.
No one else can,
No one else has tried.

I don't want to hurt you,
Please understand,
I have to leave
But I don't think I can.

Together we fall,
Apart you can stand,
Fate has decided
What I am"

Very nice piece. I really generally hate rhyme, but this piece is one of a few on my exception list. I do like this rhyme. It is neither forced nor frustrated. You have done a good job of matching the flow of the sentences with the words you chose to rhyme. They go along very well.

This feels yet again, like apiece where our main character is trying to convince herself that the boy she cares about is better off without her. Sometimes that is true, most of the time it is not. :-) Once again, nice work.

[A]

I think the rhyming is perfect. I love this poem! Everything flows together smoothly and you never went off of point or rambled. Great poem :)