I Remember You

A Poem by Ice Penada

How do you remember a past lover?

I remember you. I remember you with your head bowed and how I sat on the chair beside you. I remember my curious eyes landing on your plain face. I remember bravely initiating a conversation. I remember my best friend commenting about the game you said you play. I remember you telling her that everyone has different perspectives. I remember my first impression of you, someone who respects others’ opinions.

I remember you. I remember our friendship’s awkward beginning. I remember the small talks we share when we pass by each other. I remember politely smiling whenever you make jokes. I remember deciding that I can open a space in my life for you, not knowing if you will take up my whole heart or just fraction of it. I remember getting used to discussing things with you, from our complicated lessons to our favorite singers to our family problems. I remember you as a conversationalist, as someone fun to be with.

I remember you. I remember your fragile side. I remember how you opened up about your past love. I remember how I admired you for being able to give that kind of affection towards someone else. I remember wishing that I have the strength to love someone like how you do.

I remember you. I remember how our relationship grew from what I thought would only remain within those four walls to something that can make the miles between us seem nothing. I remember seeing the potential in you, the possibility. I remember asking for signs if this is it. I remember debating with myself if I should risk this blooming attachment. I remember telling myself that you’re worth trying for and at least,in the end, I won’t look at you with regret that I didn’t do anything.

I remember you. I remember taking a new road with you. I remember the late night conversations, the assurances, the promises, the little things. I remember you taking me home. I remember you consoling me. I remember you asking me to hold on. I remember how I realized that they were right; home is a feeling. I remember the side of you that only few will be honored to see and appreciate. I remember how your plain face slowly changed into something I look forward to seeing everyday, how you changed someone full of pride like me, how you became my favorite character in this once upon a time. I remember you loving me and how I reciprocated it with a little bit more.

I remember you and these things pop in my mind when they mention your name. Yes, we may have grown apart in the process and lost each other in the end, but still, I remember you. And I’m glad that every beautiful thing reminds me of you. I’m glad to see you in sunrises even though our love has set. I’m glad that what we had left me with good memories. I’m glad to have no remorse. I’m glad that I don’t remember you when things are falling apart but rather when things are falling into place. I’m glad that I loved you and I hope you remember me this way too.