Tear Me Apart

Tear Me Apart

A Poem by ShameemAkhtar

Tear me apart
and glue me together

So what if a few pieces
have gone missing?

So what if a few pieces
have been misplaced?

So what if a few pieces
have been put upside down?

Tear me apart
but glue me together

Turn me into a puzzle
and carve me open

Cut me
Cut me into multiple pieces

Feel free with the sizes
Feel free with the shapes
Feel free with the dimensions

Feel free

To tear me apart.

Tear me with a knife
a dagger

Tear through me with a shotgun
or your hands

Plunge your nails into my bowels
and litter out their secrets

Tear me apart
and enjoy

Enjoy the sight
Enjoy the act

Enjoy

Enjoy the feeling.

Tear me

Tear me with the laser of your eyes
the anger of your face

Lacerate me
leave your marks
leave a scar

Tear me apart

I don't like being transparent.

© 2011 ShameemAkhtar


Author's Note

ShameemAkhtar
Would that unconditional love? Any behaviour is better than being ignored...

For:
The One who tears things apart
Yet keeps everything together

The one who
Cut my heart in thousands of pieces
Because one heart couldn't love her enough...

:)

My Review

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Featured Review

Honestly, this:

For:
The One who tears things apart
Yet keeps everything together

The one who
Cut my heart in thousands of pieces
Because one heart couldn't love her enough...

should be part of the poem!

This is really good. The whole idea of breaking things to put them back together again is really good. It reminds me of how sometimes things have to be broken to be fixed... and much more. Here are a few things that I noticed. Mind you, they are just suggestions, no more.

- The "so what" part seems a little disjointed. Experiment with listing them or something, and add more, maybe some that contradict each other! That part of the poem is awesome.

- There are a few words that I think ould be trimmed down that would make the poem flow more. Example: "Tear me apart,/ but glue me back together," you don't need "but". Another: Cut me/ Cut me into pieces. In some places, the repetition is good, but others. Let the words imply and carry though and repeat themselves in the mind of the reader.

- One thing that I thought would fit was "cut me with your tongue." lol. Just a thought... sorry. There are so many things that could "cut a person apart" in a relationship. I knew someone who had to get stitches from their fiance's toe nail! Just saying.

Loved this. Thank you. The carefree, but serious implications of this poem make my heart happy. Love is a dissection table. You can only hope you don't become a Frankenstein in the end.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Oh! It was hard to digest that this tearing apart was not meant in a literal sense......excellent work..

Posted 13 Years Ago


A flowing descriptive work here. I very much enjoyed the work. I was drawn to the last line: "I don't like being transparent". Most of us hate that as well. But, we become better people when we are not closed off to the rest of the world. I particularly love the flow of this piece as well.
Nice Job.

God Bless

Posted 13 Years Ago


very dark and descriptive. Sounds as if you endured alot of pain. Although, remember there is always someone for everyone in this grand world of ours:)

Posted 13 Years Ago


When you start feeling like this, it's time to get out of that relationship. It was an interesting poem

Posted 13 Years Ago


"Plunge your nails into my bowels
and litter out their secrets" this is an outstanding line. The imagery here leaps off the page and into my chest. I read this line and it cought my breath! That sir, is what poetry is suposed to do. Illicite an emotional response from the readr and the whole piece did just that for me! Thank You!



Posted 13 Years Ago


Intriguing and evocative poem. You've captivated the pain and frustration nicely here. Well done.

Posted 13 Years Ago


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EMF
A love bordering on Masochism. Fascinating read of obsessional beahiour. Loved every twisted image and idea. Wonderful

Posted 13 Years Ago


Woah!! Cool poem:)

Posted 13 Years Ago


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CT
This is by far the best poem I've read if yours, at least in my humble reviewer's opinion. The message is strong and forceful, being both clear, strong, and up front while still being poetic. This poem isn't afraid to get in your face, and I like that. It's 100% pure, raw emotion. "Hurt me!" it screams. "F**ck me up as bad as you want! Just let me know I exist!" I love it. Great job. Keep up the wonderful work.

Posted 13 Years Ago


This is great you have so much talent!

Posted 13 Years Ago



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1328 Views
56 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on September 10, 2011
Last Updated on September 10, 2011

Author

ShameemAkhtar
ShameemAkhtar

Port Louis, Mauritius



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Project Manager, Catalyst Business Solutions slave of the modern world and demands of an overwhelming job... more..

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