Imagine you are madly in love with someone, someone with whom you have a very close friendship and with whom you can talk about everything and anything, except what you have in your heart...
An attempt to portray that. Imagine this as being a silent monologue with the other...
Now that I read it in retrospective, the poem falls short and fails to deliver that...
My Review
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after reading your notes about it, I re-read it and things sort of fell into place. I empathise completely as that is the situation I am in at the moment, and I don't think it falls short. The only part I don't understand is the 'repetition' theme and how that fits into the poem - explain, please? I really like this poem, it was very enjoyable and interesting to read, thank you and well done
I wish someone would rip the word no out of my kids mouth.
This is dark in a dark ages kind of way.I see the torture chamber where steel devices are used to stop the captive from uttering one solitary word.Is this what you mean?
No greatness in silence. Only loneliness. Need to listen with our heart and mind. Movement and action can tell a story of someone life also. I like the ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote
The beauty of poetry is it's mystery...i cant say that enough. It's what you make it, it could mean anything it's never right or wrong...this falls short in no way. Sure the notes help, BUT! It is what it is even without ur notes... a brilliant and creative piece of writing.
I'm not so sure your poem fell short at all. Your notes certainly gave the perspective needed to access the meaning you intended, but I think it stands on its own in any case. Well written!
I did have to read over again because I didn't know if this was in fact a romantic side point, or a dramatic side point, but now that I read your note, I think this was great. You explained in little words on what it means when you wish to say something you know you might never be brave enough to speak. Great work~
I certainly understand the messge you are trying to convey here. For me this piece does convey that message but like Cosmic dreamer I find myself wondering where there "repetition" comes into play? I enjoyed reading this though it is lighthearted but at the same time a bit melancholy, that creates a perfect balance for me at least. I think this is a very god write...!