Break The Bottle

Stand up
Stand up and fall

Fall
In the eyes
Fall in the eyes of alcohol
But stand

On the ground

Stand up
And count

Count

The empty bottles
That fall you

Your honour

Empty the bottles
In the gutter

Make not
A stomach of your gutter

Get the guts
To stand up

And count

On yourself

Stay away from the ground
Bury the bottle
But not in your stomach

Stand up against
The bottle
Stand up
For yourself

Shy away
And make the bottle shy

Fight

And break
The bottle
Not yourself

Break the bottle
On your hand
And stand firm

Someone please

Cleanse my blood
The alcohol poisons
The poison of pain
Which poisons
The poison of love

Someone help
Me

Stand up

Author's Note

Just playing with words...

Reviews

[realmwriter]

I can certainly attest to breaking the bottle; to break the habbit, to break yourself from taking another drink...! I grew up with an alcholic mother, bottle always in her hand or at her lips... A lot of heartache came from that bottle and from her delerium of alcoholism. It is a painful slap in the face of past resentment and a hurt that will forever be in the back of my mind. But today she drinks no more and I have forgiven her for the pain and the abuse she put myself and my siblings through due to heavy drink. Today I have my mother back and I am most greatfull that she was able to finaly break the bottle...!

[Kho-San]

It may be just playing with words, but I really liked it, the repetitiveness was very effective, and as being repetitive usually does, it drives the point home. Their were some bits which were funny, but the atmosphere the poem gave them an innocence and a kind of "don't laugh" tone:
"Bury the bottle
But not in your stomach"
for example, in any other context, it would've been pretty funny (for me I mean) but in this context, it was impossible to laugh.
Well done, another brilliant poem.

[BabyBluee]

wow i love the last few lines
"The alcohol poisons
The poison of pain
Which poisons
The poison of love'
...these are such incredible lines. if only everyone could see that truth...great write!

[KAOlmsted]

I liked this piece, thanks for the invite. I'd write more, but it's cocktail hour, so...
;-)

[*~*Butterfly Kisses*~*]

I admire your style of writing. This word play gives a lot to readers imagination and requires them to read between the lines and look deep within the write. Awesome job. Nicely done.

[Augustus]

Very interesting wordplay indeed! "Fall in the eyes of alcohol but stand"...gives a rather different perspective on the issue. And indeed the poem is replete with many witty phrases like the one above..."break the bottle not yourself" was another one that I loved...Well done!

[J. J. Nightingale]

Poison kills all the love in loving eyes .. and hearts .. It takes you from you .. and leaves a sad version of - .. Alcoholism is no play thing .. It took the one's I loved ..

Jasmine ..

[Kenneth The Poet]

Like the wordplay here. And yes, sometimes it's not the best to get wasted.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

"The alcohol poisons. The poison of pain. Which poisons -The poison of love." -Captivating.
So true in every way that you verse it.

[Coyote Poetry]

A strong poem. I like the logic in the poem. Need to drop the bottle and have a clean mind and head. A very good ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote

[EMMIE]

OH THE STRUGGLES WE GO THROUGH! HOW POWERFUL AND BRILLIANTLY WRITTEN. STAND UP! THAT'S WHAT I SAY. I LOVED IT!