Stop

It gripped. Like the claws of death. Tightening fast. Clenching into my soul. Broken. Broken into pieces like the shards of mirror which lay by my feet. Drenched in blood. Spurting in gashes off my hand. Where the radial artery was slit. Open. Like the book of my life.

My body quaked. Spasmodic chasms shook it. Like she had shaken my life. A life punctuated by ups and downs. Downs which drowned the few ups. Ups that came as hiccups. Once in a blue moon and so easily washed away by the water of sorrow.

I lay down. Down on the floor. The marble reflected the red of my blood. Blood diluted by tears. Tears of pain. Where she had gouged out my heart.

The blood. It had a life of its own. And moved freely. Drawing a map on the floor. An exquisite piece of tapestry. The rape of my soul of its virginity by her love…

It was finally over. Like she had said. So easily. Yeah, it was over. So easily. My soul deceived my body like she had deceived my soul.

It was over. Full stop. Stop. Red like my blood. Red like the road sign. Stop. And my heart finally stopped as the ultimate muscular spasms forced my lungs to heave a final sign of ‘adieu’ (farewell).

My eyelids closed as my pupils rolled. The light shimmered, fading, and finally shut out. Stop. The embryonic cord of life cut off.  My grip relaxed and opened slightly as my index tweaked once as a nerve pulled out. Stop. And my hands faltered. Half open. As though begging for life. For her.

Stop. And the reflections in the shards froze. Fragments of my soul. Ripped apart by the knives of her love.

Stop. The earth stopped. Time froze. My existence wiped out.

Stop. Only the blood oozed.

Sticky.

Red.

Reviews

[realmwriter]

Dude. Very powerful stuff here. I am impressed to say the least. This creates a picture of heart ache so bloodred cold and real it is palpable from the screen. I do believe many have attempted to capture such feelings and few have maged to do so with such a raw and vicious note. Congrats, you are to be comended.

[*~*Butterfly Kisses*~*]

Intense! I loved this. Awesome write.

[Kenneth The Poet]

Weird.

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

Wow! Intense.
I'm reading so many well-written RR's today, this one's DEFINITELY one of the well-written ones!

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Wow! You have made me speechless. This story drained my emotions, I will need to recharge. Very gripping.

[Dayran]

At some point, the life force of the soul (Jiva) continues into the experience of the heart and thereafter into the mind. As it transfers from one to another, there is first the sense of death of the previous, coherently, described in your poem. It is however, the death of the memories associated with that particular force. Someday, it'll return to find that all is exactly how it was, that its destruction is a pictorial handling of the heart/mind to understand what's going on. In the meantime, its task is to grow with the heart/mind. A picturesque poem of an event very few will face up to. Great write!

[Mehul Rwat]

Short and nice. Full of metaphors. Too many Short sentences. Most of them were excellent but some had a bit abrupt endings. Check that out.

[stars are far]

This was so nice i love it ..
well done :)

[Alewis]

i love the way u opened the story and how ended. great use of words goood write

[Enigma]

This was very detailed and well written. My favorite part was the first sentence.. It grabbed my attention quickly.

[Pratik]

Very direct...brilliant composition.. :)