Useless

Cold and lonely it seems.

 

It’s been a while since you’ve shown it,

And quite frankly, it’s killing me inside,

I wonder how I must have gone through these days without it,

How did I learn to put up with emptiness and survive?

 

I’m not one to boast or be selfish,

All I need is for you to be alright,

But tears have clouded my vision and these words,

Seem so blinded and out of sight.

I miss the love in your eyes.

 

I feel so useless in front of you,

I can’t seem to find my peace of mind,

Haven’t you noticed when I appear before you?

And at times how I run away and hide.

I’ve gone blind.

 

I feel numb sitting here writing these words,

I wish you could sit with me and listen to them,

But I’ll feel useless inside,

And completely unworthy of your attention,

For I’ve been in oppression and depression,

Without your love by my side.

 

Mom always used to say,

How you were that kind of man,

Hard shelled and with-holding your emotions,

A shell I can no longer break through,

I’ll never hurt you.

And still love you with devotion.

 

I just want to break this routine and,

Tell you how much I need your attention.

But I can’t show my feelings,

It’s too embarrassing for me to face,

I’ll just cry these eyes,

And leave your life without a trace.

 

My heart’s been locked away,

I find it hard to love, if you were only my key,

You could release the love building inside of me,

Boy, this is cheesy.

 

 

Fancy words aside,

Let me make my point across,

I dislike this life that you were once my best friend,

And now you’re my boss.

 

Why do you look away when I look into your eyes?

Am I that useless?

Or are you too in disguise?

I know I’m a girl,

But how impure can I be?

To have my brother receive your admiration,

When I have to fight for your eyes to see the real me?

 

I ask of God,

A thank you, for the blessing of a friend so dear,

I just wonder how life would be if you hugged me,

Held me and talked to me with words so sincere.

 

Its seems one thing has been true all along,

You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.

Let me make my wish for you to love me,

Because I could never again ask for a friend as great as you,

 

But my sorrow is done,

And I continue this life of mine,

Holding honor and respect for your name,

And waiting till the day

We could break this useless game.