Broken

Broken

 

Looking at the old cabin

a sadness comes over me

shades of grey overpower the sun

shadows fall on broken memories

and dreams scatter in the breeze

Wood cracks and peels

termites take their toll

 flowers have withered and died

weeds tumble in the wind

Yet somehow from deep within

I see one green vine

reaching her tiny leaves toward the sun

I am reminded

Life goes on

 

bj smith

aka shallimarRose

 

 

 

 

For more shallimarRose Poetry titles visit my table of contents in my blog...

 

Bits of Me...Table of Contents by title...

 

 

 

Reviews

[redzone]

yes, life goes on, but the pain of loss also goes on.... sometimes for way to long... your images are starkly sad Rose.. even that small green vine, if not nurtured, watered and receptive to the warmth of the sun will also wither... so, please stretch further, strengthen and grow... damn the termites!!! ---redzone

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Redzone for coming to read and your wisdom.. Rose

[Aethereal]

Yes, in broken places there are hopeful traces. Your poem inspired me to write this gift poem for you:

Life

In spite of trouble,
there are surprises.
Up from burnt stubble
a forest rises.
Out from old rubble
life mobilizes.
Inside its bubble,
life crystallizes.

[shallimarRose]

Thats lovely.. I see like me the gift of rhyme is in you.. Thank you Aethereal.. Rose

[Aethereal]

You're welcome, Rose. Here you have inspired another poem that wouldn't have been written otherwise. You may keep this poem as your own. I wrote it in five minutes.

[shallimarRose]

yes.. I do that too.. No you should take it and keep going with it.. post it it may well inspire or help another in need.. I have an excersize I do in which i set a 3 minute egg timer and let my ink loose.. lol some of my best poems have been eggtimer specials.. xo

[Aethereal]

If you insist, then I'll keep this poem as my own, but I'll need to develop it more before posting it on my page. Between each couplet there should be a quatrain adding detail to each couplet written in italics. The poem would be in eight parts.

[shallimarRose]

Nice touch.. my rr are off when its finished send me the link.. xo

[Sheila Kline]

Where there is a bit of life there is hope!! Always remember this my friend!!

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Sheila for stopping by to read.. xo Rose

[bobc]

R...quite get this. Good free verse and a nice read. One very small thing...'...Wood cracks and peels...'. Maybe you meant 'Wood cracks and paint peels'. Just a suggestion...bobc

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Bob.. I do believe wood also splinters and peels.. I will think about the change.. I do see your point. thank you.. xo Rose

[ron]

That was beautiful and sad. The green vine will grow to its full bloom in your heart. Be tender with it for it surly wants to grow in your cabin.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Ron for stopping to read.. xo Rose

[ron]

Your welcome Rose xo