The Token , two hearts one love... (kleenex required)

explanation within.

This was a challenge picture... Just an empty locket...It started out as something very different...a poem about betrayal but as you know sometimes the muse grabs the pen and takes right out of our hand.......This took a very unexpected turn as I wrote and my favorite song came on the radio....It somehow split between years and decades and became two separate poems conjoined by love, time and circumstance.......If you have never seen the video "Just a Dream" by Carrie Underwood (and even if you have)** please take three minutes grab the box of Kleenex and watch the video after you have read both poems for the full emotional impact of this presentation...

Thank you., shallimarRose

THE TOKEN

(Two Hearts One Love)


In tiny box

in the bottom of her old dresser drawer

beneath her satins and lace
she kept it safe

wrapped in memories and tied with tears

was a tarnished remainder of one love

a little thing really no bigger

than a copper penny

a small token once given

so long ago

It was the night of their senior prom

she was all dressed in pale blue

the color of his eyes

her body trembled at the sound

the doorbell ring

he was there

she was ready

tonight would be the biggest night

of their young lives

she topped the stair with grace

he walked up and met her half way

a small embrace

hand in hand he led her down

where he gave it to her

right there in front of her parents

a small silver locket

it was tied onto her corsage

"I LOVE YOU”

he dropped right there to one knee

he asked her to marry him that night

and she said yes

and her mother cried

and her father held back tears

there was no ring

just this tiny locket

two small conjoined hearts

silver in color

etched with love

the locket was empty

the two small hearts awaited

they awaited the day of the wedding

when two pictures would be added

one in black the other in white

bride and groom

pictures that she would cherish

hold forever in her hearts

and near her heart

she would someday show this locket

to children and grandchildren

and tell them of this day

when he dropped to one knee

and this locket gave

as a token of his undying love

bj smith

aka shallimarRose


******* *******

Two hearts
(the token part 2)


The day was set

the timing planned

forever they would walk

through life hand and hand

the venue was chosen

invitations were sent

something blue something new

something borrowed was lent

the day planned outdoors

would be sunny and warm

he would wear his uniform

she a white veil

and a gown of white lace

she dreamed of that day

and the smile on his face

****

but somewhere between

his life and her dream

came the duty that called

him to arms

a marine

and this locket

two hearts

as the way this poem started

were left empty and bare

she was left broken hearted

she never did marry

no one could compare

to the memory left

by that boy on the stair

sixty years to the day

since the locket he gave

and they placed today

beside her in her grave....

bj smith 

aka shallimarRose

 

 

 

 

 

 

For more shallimarRose Poetry titles visit my table of contents in my blog...

 

Bits of Me...Table of Contents by title...

 

Author's Note

love your thoughts on both the poems and this emotional video. thank you. shallimarRose

Reviews

[Traci]

One word.....AMAZING! This is definitely one of my favorites of yours! It reminded me a little of a "Notebook" kind of style, written so eloquently as you captured the emotions throughout. The first part portrayed the perfect kind of love we all hope for, high school sweethearts, with big plans for the future. The second portrayed "somewhere between his life and her dream", a bittersweet ending. As for the song, always been one of my favorites, still shed a tear or two every time I hear it, and will always think of this poem when I hear the song :)

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Traci.. on my other site many kept this to their favorites or in their notebooks.. I loved the movie "The notebook" xo Rose

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

That was a grand tale of love and loss, i guess not all of them can end happily... even when you want them to. Excellent piece!

[shallimarRose]

Thank You Poetic for pausing to read my pages. I appreciate the feedback always.. shallimarRose

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

and its always a pleasure.

[Keith]

You dangle our hearts on a string a string and dip them in our tears. A master of your craft, beautiful poems presented as the perfect package. The picture of the empty locket sets the mood before we read, poems so real we share the joy and sorrow and then Carrie to send us for another dip into the tissue box.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Keith. I am so pleased you got to this one. I know you are very busy with work. Thank you for your lovely review. xo Rose

[Keith]

Always a pleasure Rose.

[Rita L. Sev]

Both poems are heart-tugging, and beautifully written. That last line, putting the locket in her grave - that's the tear-jerker, for me. Never to have fulfilled that love... so sad. Creative, lovely pieces here, Rose...

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Rita. I am away from my desk for the most part but trying to post what i can and catch up an a few reads as well. I had to turn rr off so they dont pile up. huggs, Rose

[kublakhan27]

I'm blown away...this is such a heart-wrenchingly real pair of poems, masterfully-crafted, and they dictate the pace of the events at a speed just long enough to take in the sadness and heartbreak of every line...there's something about lockets that can bring out the most cherished memories or the most devastating...great work here my friend :)

[shallimarRose]

Steve thank you. Im glad you enjoyed this one.. I was afraid the apeal would be more to the females here but I know a lot of men have hearts that turn to mush also from soemthing sad or romantic.. (and that is a very good quality to have)

xo Rose

[kublakhan27]

What can I say, I'm a hopeless romantic, and as my writing probably suggests, extremely sensitive, and those aren't boasts ;) I wasn't always that way...even now I still fight with bouts of cynicism, but I'm definitely becoming more sentimental with age...xo

[shallimarRose]

not a bad thing.. xo

[kublakhan27]

No I definitely couldn't live my whole life like I did when I was younger...I'd be unbearable, even to myself :P xo

[Dye]

Oh...I just don't know what to say. I'm an emotional wreck. Very touching and heartfelt and I need a Kleenex.

[shallimarRose]

Well I did warn you to grab the whole box.. lol Thank you
Dye.. I knew this one would touch you. You have such an emotional heart.. xo Rose

[Dye]

Yes you sure did....I should have listened. Thank you for saying that....I take that as a compliment. Aside from my joking around....I have a fragile heart.....emotional for sure.

[shallimarRose]

me too Dye.. me too... xo

[Jack...]

I loved this Rose. Very touching and tear drop producing. I love how the two poems are merely an extension of the original theme. I could feel her happiness, I could see and taste it and then her pain hit me like a ton of bricks, so very sad but a perfectly written ending to this wonderful piece. Sorry I can not watch the video at work, but I'm sure there is not much more it could add. Very lovely sweet friend.

[shallimarRose]

If you have never seen the Video Jack pull it up on you tube sometime.. It's sad but so beautifully done. Thank you for reading and commenting Jack. Seeing you come to my page is always a bit of a thrill for me. I respect your writing so much. xoxo Rose

[Robbie~xoxo~]

This is absolutely Breathtaking Rose!!!
Well, you certainly made me cry today!!! OMG!
You are a solid writer with the talent beyond gifted, my friend... write on... and don't look back!
Your star is shining~xoxo~

Astounding write!!

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Robbie. I have about four projects going right now but my OCD keeps me from focusing on one thing.. Maybe someday I will finish at least one of them.. Lovely review you give me here and I think you. xoxo Rose

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I know what you mean Rose... I'm the worst at it... It's killing me. LOL

I am planning to get out of this WC rat-wheel one day...
just not today, I'm afraid! ;D

[shallimarRose]

Well the WC is better then any other writing sites I have been in but I need to focus more on online magazines.. My poems in the one book are not much. I have a childrens book a compilation of my poetry and a novel started as well as a book of fun stories and embarrassing moments.. None are finished and as I age I wonder if I will ever get them published. I am the Queen of erotica its been said but they don't know I am actually the Queen of procrastination.. lol huggs, Rose

[Tom]

Beautifully written poem, sad in ending then again life, love and romance do not always end in happy-ever-afters ! Just left slightly uncertain though, was he killed in action when he was called up by the marines, or did he just not bother returning to his betrothed ?

[shallimarRose]

Tom You did not watch the Video.. lol I The video is a very important part of the presentation. Thank you for reading and your kind review.. huggs, Rose

[Tom]

I did try but it was continually buffering so I had to give up and just read the two poems !

[Mehak Mushtaq]

Very, very beautifully written. A love story that turns so tragic. I loved both the poems. Great job.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Mehak. I hope you were able to see the video. Rose

[Mehak Mushtaq]

Yes, that made the poems even more beautiful.

[s y e]

This was a really good write, Rose - It's something that I would probably read from Nicholas Sparks, haha. The emotion was captured really well, and you wrote it very eloquently. I thought the first part was a High- School Sweetheart kinda love, which I think it super cute and the second part was a bit like real life and a dream. The ending was really bittersweet Rose, and the song was nice.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Sye.. Im glad you got to read this one.. Its not really meant to be part II of the "letter to a soldier" but I guess because I posted them one after the other readers may think that. xo Rose