The Token , two hearts one love... (kleenex required)

explanation within.

This was a challenge picture... Just an empty locket...It started out as something very different...a poem about betrayal but as you know sometimes the muse grabs the pen and takes right out of our hand.......This took a very unexpected turn as I wrote and my favorite song came on the radio....It somehow split between years and decades and became two separate poems conjoined by love, time and circumstance.......If you have never seen the video "Just a Dream" by Carrie Underwood (and even if you have)** please take three minutes grab the box of Kleenex and watch the video after you have read both poems for the full emotional impact of this presentation...

Thank you., shallimarRose

THE TOKEN

(Two Hearts One Love)


In tiny box

in the bottom of her old dresser drawer

beneath her satins and lace
she kept it safe

wrapped in memories and tied with tears

was a tarnished remainder of one love

a little thing really no bigger

than a copper penny

a small token once given

so long ago

It was the night of their senior prom

she was all dressed in pale blue

the color of his eyes

her body trembled at the sound

the doorbell ring

he was there

she was ready

tonight would be the biggest night

of their young lives

she topped the stair with grace

he walked up and met her half way

a small embrace

hand in hand he led her down

where he gave it to her

right there in front of her parents

a small silver locket

it was tied onto her corsage

"I LOVE YOU”

he dropped right there to one knee

he asked her to marry him that night

and she said yes

and her mother cried

and her father held back tears

there was no ring

just this tiny locket

two small conjoined hearts

silver in color

etched with love

the locket was empty

the two small hearts awaited

they awaited the day of the wedding

when two pictures would be added

one in black the other in white

bride and groom

pictures that she would cherish

hold forever in her hearts

and near her heart

she would someday show this locket

to children and grandchildren

and tell them of this day

when he dropped to one knee

and this locket gave

as a token of his undying love

bj smith

aka shallimarRose


******* *******

Two hearts
(the token part 2)


The day was set

the timing planned

forever they would walk

through life hand and hand

the venue was chosen

invitations were sent

something blue something new

something borrowed was lent

the day planned outdoors

would be sunny and warm

he would wear his uniform

she a white veil

and a gown of white lace

she dreamed of that day

and the smile on his face

****

but somewhere between

his life and her dream

came the duty that called

him to arms

a marine

and this locket

two hearts

as the way this poem started

were left empty and bare

she was left broken hearted

she never did marry

no one could compare

to the memory left

by that boy on the stair

sixty years to the day

since the locket he gave

and they placed today

beside her in her grave....

bj smith 

aka shallimarRose

 

 

 

 

 

 

For more shallimarRose Poetry titles visit my table of contents in my blog...

 

Bits of Me...Table of Contents by title...

 

Author's Note

love your thoughts on both the poems and this emotional video. thank you. shallimarRose

Reviews

[Traci]

One word.....AMAZING! This is definitely one of my favorites of yours! It reminded me a little of a "Notebook" kind of style, written so eloquently as you captured the emotions throughout. The first part portrayed the perfect kind of love we all hope for, high school sweethearts, with big plans for the future. The second portrayed "somewhere between his life and her dream", a bittersweet ending. As for the song, always been one of my favorites, still shed a tear or two every time I hear it, and will always think of this poem when I hear the song :)

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Traci.. on my other site many kept this to their favorites or in their notebooks.. I loved the movie "The notebook" xo Rose

[ron]

I cry for their lost love, as I am...or was a soldier once upon a time I know the call of duty to well. It is the ones that dont go that most have forggotten. Their love was grand, theirl love was pure, their love will live on in your poem my dear.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Ron.. I knew you were a soldier but until I visited your page last night I did not realize that you were in for twenty years.. Thank you Sweet Ron for serving and protecting.. xo Rose

[ron]

I never whent to a combat zone so I feel that any thanks to me is just riding on the coattails of those that have...but thank you.

[Summer]

The song is not my favourite but I loved how it all merged so well together. Well done.

[shallimarRose]

Well you have to be a country music fan I think and I am. It was not so much the song that gets to me it is the video when her wedding gown begins to turn from white to black and you realize her wedding never took place and she is at his funeral not their wedding. Thank you Summer for coming to visit and review here.. xo Rose

[Einstein Noodle]

touching story SR. Carrie Underwood can really play the heart strings as well. Noticed a couple of spell checks perhaps.."then a copper penny" (did you mean than?) and "the day planed outdoors" (planned?) I am probably very sheltered but have never thought of the locket as two hearts in one. Duh! :) The image I have of the woman going thru all those yrs. in quiet acceptance is one of grace, dignity and peace. There are so many ways one could go with the challenge; you have chosen to tell one of enduring true love. Nice piece ShallimarRose!
E.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you E. I will fix those type'os now.. I am bringing this stuff over from my another site and many were posted long ago so your catching this stuff helps me. I Well to make a locket that have to make two hearts and then hinge them together.. It would hole two photos one in each heart. Yes my idea was to write this challenge as a woman scorned... muse was having no part of it and grabbed the pen.. lol thanks again. Rose

[shallimarRose]

oh.. side note.. I always have problems with then and than... put i would have thought spell ck would have caught the planed.. lol ty

[shallimarRose]

Thank you E. I guess on a locket it is two halves of one heart .. In the title "Two Hearts one Love".. I was referring to the two human hearts, hers and his...
but in the body when it speaks of two hearts it's speaking of the two sides because each heart will hold a photo "one black one in white, bride and groom.". I agree this challenge could have gone any way and this was not my chosen direction... Well my idea was to write this challenge as a woman scorned... muse was having no part of it and grabbed the pen... Rose

I will fix those type'0s now.. thanks again..

[Einstein Noodle]

Thank you for bringing to my attention the concept that a locket is two into one. I love that. Have put the purchase of such a locket on my list of things for my lady. I guarantee she thanks you as well! :)
E.

[AmandaN]

Ohhhh this is amazing! I love it. Watched the vid and am now a snotty mess,cheers for that!

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Amanda... Glad you loved it and that the video brought it real with such emotion... lol @ cheers for making you a mess... huggs, Rose

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Amanda... Glad you loved it and that the video brought it real with such emotion... lol @ cheers for making you a mess... huggs, Rose

[B-poet]

Part 2 had a more sentimental feel & value to it than Part 1 yet both were incredible poems. Great work Rose. You've started your own special genre of unique creativity here with these 2 epic poems. They're both compelling reads. :)

[shallimarRose]

Thank you for dropping in to read Bri.. xoxo Rose

[Jazz Newport Green]

(the kleenex box has been violated...)
beneath her satins and lace
she kept it safe
wrapped in memories and tied with tears....
but somewhere between
his life and her dream
came the duty that called
him to arms
a marine
My favorite lines. So beautiful, I almost cried. I'm not an emotional person so getting me to almost cry is quite a feat. Somewhere between the lines of heart, paper and pen you told a story of love worth telling again. Muito bonita, very beautiful.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Janice. May I ask if you watched the video? The video makes me cry every time.. But I am a very emotional woman and writer.. Im glad you liked this one.. shallimarRose

[David Scott]

You have penned a tragedy to rival the Greeks. I married my high school sweetheart... Dated from the young ages of 14/15... I could see the young love and the sadness as the fruit was plucked long before it ever ripened. Still, the love was true and it sustained her till her death. Life will find them together when death opens the gateway to what lies beyond.
A very fine write. You should be proud of this Rose!

[shallimarRose]

Your wisdom here is appreciated. I am glad you came to read and thank you David for the lovely review.. xo Rose

[Sharon L.H. Kelly]

I am at a loss for words. This is an amazingly touching piece. Creative talent times 10.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Sharon.. xo

[Rosaria_V]

Can I just say how amazingly talented you are!!! This gave me chills and made me want to cry!. I thought of the song from Lauren Alaina "Locket" when I read it and thought it was just beautiful!! I love when I write something with the intent to say one thing but then my heart and pen make me say something else. It's something as a writer that I love cause it's soo unexpected and it's deeper then what we originally thinking about writing. I also lovee Carrie Underwood!! So you honestly have to continue letting your words shine cause your so great!! xoxo Amazing read!

[shallimarRose]

thank you Rosa for such a wonderful compliment.. I appreciate your words.. xo

[Rosaria_V]

I mean it all from the bottom of my heart!! Still have chills and trying to hold back tears

[Rosaria_V]

xoxo thank you for sharing an amazing write

[shallimarRose]

Your welcome.. did you catch the poem "letter to a soldier" another one you might enjoy.. xo Rose

[Rosaria_V]

I will for sure read it!! thank you and I know I will :)

[Poetic Beauty]

Simply amazing. The heartstrings are pulled apart in this piece and it makes you want to know the whole story. The characters come to life and you can picture this whole story within the mind. I like how you separated this piece into two parts.

[shallimarRose]

LOL it was the muse that separated it I wanted to write about heartbreak for this locket in a whole different direction. I saw the locket as something completely different. Thanks for reading.. xo

[Poetic Beauty]

Lol I understand. My muse inside my head screams at me like an banshee if I don't do what she wants.