Silhouette in Shackles

Possessiveness, bondage, shadows, self esteem, freedom, shallimarRose, poetry

She is but a shadow,

She makes no move alone;

A silhouette in shackles,

she dare not leave her home...

 

If I could see beyond her smile

what would her sad eyes tell?

I watch her drift from room to room,

I know those rooms too well....

 

Suddenly she's looking back,

she sees me pass her by.

I know if she could budge the door,

that silhouette would fly....

 

She is but a silhouette,

he's the keeper of the key.

That silhouette in shackles,

in the mirror......only me....

© 2000 bj Smith 

aka shallimarRose 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For more shallimarRose Poetry titles visit my table of contents in my blog...

 

Bits of Me...Table of Contents by title...

 

 

 

Author's Note

feel free to comment/critique. ty for reading

Reviews

[shallimarRose]

Thank you ShallimarRose and good friend for sharing this piece with us... even if it's 13 years ago, it's still as powerful as it is. I feel you carry such a strong bond with this person, and maybe it's family. You help this person through thick and thin, and be as strong as a rock in the sea for this person. It's a lovely heart you have, I felt that. I hope things, are better now... very beautifully crafted. hugs Eli.

- Elisa

[shallimarRose]

Thank you very much my sweet friend.. Glad you enjoyed.. xo Rose

You're ever so welcome dear... I love your quill, and come by for more! xoxo Eli

[shallimarRose]

thank you there is plenty here just browse titles.. huggs

I will.... :D can't wait till tomorrow, (just having vacation now for three weeks) I will be a lot on the road, but where there is Wifi, I'm on... ;) and will catch up for more! xxx HUGS! :D can't wait!

[redflutterby]

Many of us have felt trapped within a relationship...while the other person may seem to have the key, in fact we hold it ourselves. We make our own choices but often convince ourselves that we have no control over them. Very poignant poem!!

[shallimarRose]

Thanks Red.. xo

[Ravyne Hawke]

I can so relate to this poem, Rose.. I've felt trapped many times in my marriage, often feeling unloved and so desperately lonely. Twice I've escaped and had to return. Only recently (last year) have I felt comfortable being with my husband. He stood by me when I went through cancer and chemo. I would never have thought that possible several years ago. Your poem reminded me of my unfulfilled heart and I am saddened to know that anyone else out there feels that way too. Beautiful write.

[shallimarRose]

Lori we would have so much to talk about. If you ever want to talk just private message me ok. Sorry you have gone through cancer and chemo and i hope you are cancer free now.

huggs!!!

[Ravyne Hawke]

Thank you, Rose.. that goes for you as well.. you can message me privately any time as well. It can be difficult for me to talk about things sometimes because I don't like to complain. But I am a good listener.

[Clara]

Wow Rose, this is really good.
I like the repetition of words, I think it strengthens a very personal write.
It's funny how people can hold us -- even without being there.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you so much Lola for your very nice review.. huggs

[SoulSplatter]

I love the imagery of this as well as the idea of it. I feel this way many times in my life. The only thing I would change is the use of the word silhouette twice towards the end.

Maybe change "That silhouette would fly..." to "That darkened outline would fly" Or "That ambit form would fly" Just to flow better. Much love fellow poetess!!!

[shallimarRose]

Thank you for the read Soul poet.. To my thoughts the word silhouette is the whole being of the poem and I like the way it flows this way. Sometimes repetition is an important aspect in poetry.. other times it is sort of taboo..... I thank you for your honest critique but this was written years ago and has won several contests over the years.. I will not change it at this time.. Never hesitate to let your honest feelings show here because more often then not I will take a suggestion. thanks again. shallimarRose

[J. Hampton]

The struggle with the distance between our personal prison
And who truly holds our keys

Vulnerable and poignant ....
It made me uncomfortable in a familiar way
... That ... Is what a good write. Is meant to do

Well delivered ...

[shallimarRose]

"It made me uncomfortable in a familiar way"
thank you... xo

[BlackRose]

Loved it. No one likes to in the skin there in when they fear such things and have to live it every day. And can be hearting when it seems no one understands. I can sympathize in that I deal with something of every day. It's hard not think of when things will go bad again when everything in my is going so far so good for now, lol.

[shallimarRose]

I hope what ever it is in your life that things will be smooth sailing for you from now on. Hopefully it is not a possessive relationship like this piece was originally about. Possessive relationships almost always turn into abusive ones. Thank you for reading and your honest comment. shallimarRose

[BlackRose]

Yes and no in combination of things. One I got rid of and other if I stay on the good path on should stay that way hopefully for a long time. And relationships tend to get that way have to feel in charge of the relationship fo whatever reason in their past brought up that way.

[Alia ZJ.]

You threw some really strong, impacting words which constructed vivid images in my mind. It seems more like being tied to a leverage of no self-control, not even when one wants too. Extremely well put! :)

[shallimarRose]

Thank you.. hmmm, lack of self control. Poetry always open to interpretation . That is one scenario I had not thought of. Thank you for reading. shallimarRose

[ron]

I didnt know thats how some one who feels like that feels. This gives me an idea for a poem but nit sure what itw ill be like. This poem is an eye opener I hope more perople read it. Nice job with it Rose.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Ron... I think many feel trapped in a relationship that is going nowhere either by a possessive partner or just by circumstance.. Also many feel locked or trapped within themselves. Thank you for reading Ron. I would love to talk more about your idea or read the poem this inspires. xo rose

[ron]

Since you put it that way I cane relate to this poem now. It is a lonely feeling to be traped no mater how we are traped.

[Keith]

Another of those beautiful mysterious ones. Superb flow and rhyme, we are left wondering. But do we even want to know?

[shallimarRose]

Thank you darlin'.. always like hearing from you. xo

[Keith]

Aaw shucks! Always a pleasure Rose.

[Baby Ricochet]

Definitely has some madness going on. Great ending. Thank you

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Ricochet for taking time to read.