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Just something i threw together this morning.. lol

…...Green fields of tomorrow

where flowers never grow

…...touch and go promenades

trying to gain control

…....watching so intently

anticipations rush

….....bases forged of destiny

still waiting to be touched

….....looking towards a future plan

while judging every curve

….....chances that you're bound to take

still heighten every nerve

….....overtime vendettas

the night, the hype the thrill

…......longingly hoping you'll come home

perhaps you never will??

“kill the Umpire”

bj smith aka shallimarRose

Author's Note

Baseball fan here.. Feel free to comment, Critique, .. shallimarRose

Reviews

[Anna]

I personally hate and know nothing about baseball, so it doesn't have too much meaning for me on that side. However it is clearly obvious that this is about life as well. I love the idea of having a double entendre. One so simple as a game of baseball, one so complicated as to try to explain what the hell is this thing we are doing on earth called "life." Bringing back that feeling of home we all love and most of us miss. Another really great write.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Anna.. xo Rose

[IWRITE]

you know whats awesome about this writing?

if you had not put the authors note at the bottom, i would not have been able to figure out it was about baseball. *maybe* with the last line- but only a maybe.

i like that. subtle. good write.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you.. I actually added the Kill the Umpire as a hint but did not add the authors note till later.. I am glad you liked it.. shallimarRose

[Clara]

Unfortunately, I don't know much about baseball but I liked how you related the two topics together.
I liked the line, 'bases forged of destiny still waiting to be touched'. So true. :)

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Lola.. I appreciate your coming to read and review.. shallimarRose

[Jack...]

This one was a homerun my friend. I loved how this played out.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Jack... lol Dodgers game may be my muse for awhile they are doing so well.. :) Rose

[RainDancer1997]

This is a job well done:) I love that you used baseball metaphors and such:) So unique:)

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Rainy for reading.. huggs, shallimarRose

[Einstein Noodle]

was reading life into it all the way to "kill the Umpire" :) not much of a sports person but this (once i read it as baseball) makes me feel like when I watched field of dreams. i stumble a bit over "longingly..." it read a little easier for me without it.
"the night, the hype the thrill

…......hoping you'll come home

perhaps you never will??"


E.

[shallimarRose]

So you are Einstein Noodle huh, I guess I missed your Birthday lol I had no idea what Frieda poem was about when I read it.. Happy Birthday. Thanks for reading.. I am glad you enjoyed.. shallimarRose

[Sarah Jean]

'green fields of tomorrow where flowers never grow' I love this, its deep and profound and can be interpreted in so many personal ways.

[shallimarRose]

Yes I think it is a pretty open to interpretation piece. So glad you enjoyed it.. shallimarRose

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Very unique and creative useage of baseball terminology and metaphor in a piece that is really wrought with emotional depth. I see life and love in this one...the idea that we can "swing for the stars", but sometimes we end up "striking out", you know? Nothing is set in stone; nothing is promised. We can only keep trying to do what we can do in order to finish the game.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Sarah, you read what is in between the lines as it should be in poetry. Glad you enjoyed. shallimarRose

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I find that it is metaphorical for life... to me it speaks of how we can like people who agree with us but dislike them when not agreeing. Also it was a very funny read.

[shallimarRose]

OK I tried to reply to you earlier but for some reason I could not reply on my other laptop.. (the one i was messaging you blank messages on lol)... Yes The piece can be metaphor for life and also semi sexual depending on how the reader takes it.. "bases forged of destiny and neding to be touched" I wanted the baseball theme to be kind of hidden till the end but thought the "Kill the Umpire" at the end was a sure giveaway. Thank you for reading Cowboy... xo Rose

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Always a pleasure to read you xo

[Sheila Kline]

And we wait for that "seventh inning" stretch with hopes that our team will win if they are losing, and will keep on scoring if they are winning! I like the way you take a baseball game and give it extra "verve"!....or did I mean "curve"?...lol
Great write!

[shallimarRose]

LOL Thanks again Sheila.. Glad you got this.. xo shallimarRose

[Sheila Kline]

Hey, one out of two "ain't half bad"...........lol