Fairy-tales Broken

 

 

Love bestowed a gentle kiss

Wrapped in warmth of lovers bliss

Through the threshold of his charm

There came a wave of dis-alarm

 

Where bargains made of blackened chips

And aces wake to inward whips

Of licorice stems on chocolate roses

The should have beens

And I supposes

 

There fairy castles made of wine

Have inner rooms where royalty dine

Upon the carcass in the sand

Of dragons slain in fairyland

 

And carriages built of paper cards

Are drawn by memories disregard

Who carry to the very end

And lose the yearning to descend

 

The happily and for ever after

Lost its way in violent laughter

Born of boisterous lofty lies

That hid behind the silent cries

 

Of broken dreams and fallen princes

Fairy-tales with solemn glimpses

Become the saddened ended story

Forever lost its lofty glory

 

And shudders close on inward dreams

Of mountains built near chocolate streams

Where fairy elves are found near death

The songs of silence, left bereft

 

written by bj smith

aka shallimarRose 

Author's Note

feel free to comment/critique

Reviews

[Jack...]

It takes a lot of work and imagination for it to be "Happily ever after". But, in my mind, I truly do believe it can be done. Fairy Tales aren't always a just some made up story or poem if your heart feels that special world unfold within it. Castles in the sky with chocolate streams...that is love my friend and you have painted it so beautifully in this poem. Rose, you always impress me. Loved it.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Jack...a four line review from you? woo hoo... smles

[ShelleyA]

A good write about not so happy endings in life and love. Heartfelt. Well crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy. Good imagery and flow. Line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm and enjambment. Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme. A nice mix of near perfect dactylic, feminine and masculine end line rhyme that's executed well in this piece. Lovely depth of feeling. I sense the sadness of no happily ever after fairytale ending. Well penned. Write on!

[shallimarRose]

You are correct in the ending no happily ever after in the ending of most.. Each Stanza is conjoined in a way all depicting a certain place where all these metaphoric things come to life.. I once broke this down in meaning stanza by stanza for a group on Myspace.. I am not sure I still have it..
Thank you always for reading and the way you comment/critique.. shallimarRose

[ShelleyA]

You're welcome and my pleasure. Have a good day!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

For me, this is about the loss of imagination in society... I think with the uprising of technology, movies, etc., we are losing the grasp on what it means to really "imagine" things. I remember playing as a child, and I imagined entire worlds, now days those worlds are laid out for us visually; everything with the push of a button. Anyway, that's what I got from this one. Nice flow and imagery here.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you for reading Sarah.. I think a poem IS what the reader gets out of it.. I am sure that each that reads this will put a different spin on it.. It has nothing to do with technology per se but maybe more to do with the money behind technology... The rich metaphor throughout particularly in stanza's two, three and four are pretty big hints... I am glad you enjoyed it Sarah. thanks for reading.. xo shallimarRose

[Sharon Kim]

I love the rhythm of this poem. It never feels forced. The rhythm pulls you in and carries you along. The words flow beautifully and create powerful images. I admit that I am intrigued by your author's note... Having re-read it again, I wonder if it is the end of a relationship gone bad due to cheating or alcoholism?.?.

A fantastic read!

[shallimarRose]

Thank you for reading and for the nice compliment. I never have to force rhyme it has been spewing from me since I was a small child.. I have to force NOT to rhyme.. thats even more difficult I think.. You are on the right track.. kinda sorta... Look for a bigger picture.. thanks again.. xo shallimarRose

[shallimarRose]

I think you are on the right track... It is in part about relationships, drinking and the rich, famous and powerful..