Whoo Am I

just something written in the middle of the night...Sleepless....poetic insomnia I call it...

Who am I

sometimes

when I look in the mirror

I wonder if you see what I see

loneliness behind the empty smile

one that has been hurt so many times

sitting in waiting

for the next mirage to fade

into the shadows behind chestnut eyes

glazed by pain and self doubt

hollow words and broken promises

bring little refuge to a woman

whose childhood was ripped away

before it even started

the burial place of memories

nothing more then a hiding place

where pain has always d'welled

and tears always wel'd in private

privacy?!

there is no such word in my mind

for too many have walked there

leaving foot prints on the heart

and hand prints on the memory

in the wee hours of the morning

when the mind cannot be still'd

to the floor I crumble

and only the mirror

knows who I am...

bj smith

aka shallimarRose

Author's Note

photo from google images..

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Hard to find your real face sometimes. I enjoyed the poem. Led the reader on a good journey into memories and thoughts. I have not tried to find my true face in years. I have grew old and accepted my place and function. Which is sad. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[shallimarRose]

Ty for your wonderful comments as always Coyote.. huggs, Rose

[Sharon L.H. Kelly]

This was an intense and powerful read. Thank you for sharing it.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you. xo

[Rita L. Sev]

Why do only dark and lonely thoughts come in the middle of the night? This is a raw, beautiful and heart wrenching write. Hopefully cathartic for you, this definitely evokes strong emotion from the reader.

[shallimarRose]

Agreed for me they are flashbacks I have no idea I guess because they can attack when we are not conscience enough to ward them off? thank you for reading. xo

[Ravyne Hawke]

I can relate to this poem, Rose.. so much to overcome especially the loneliness. I don't recognize myself in the mirror at all. I am not who I know I should be. This is written with such honesty, raw and beautiful at the same time.

Found one little mistake: for two many have walked there -- two should be too

Great job on this, Rose.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Lori.. that had to have been one of those auto spell cks .. I didnt catch it glad you did.. shallimar

[Ravyne Hawke]

Those auto things drive me insane!

[Sam]

I am proud of you... this show strength... and I agree some times I do am stronger when I can't sleep.
Still it takes a lot of strength to share it. Thank you for the read request. I feel you Rose. XO Sam

[ba_mcfarlane]

This had to be pain to the extreme, getting this out. It hurt just to read it. TC my friend, TC

[Frieda P]

The wee hours of the morning always bring about such vivid memories, I share these emotions with you, I wish I would have pen'd this one shallimar, it says exactly what I feel and then some. Excellent, my sweet friend!

[shallimarRose]

ty Frieda as you know i try not to spill my darkness on to the page but sometimes it just IS. shallimar

[Frieda P]

Exactly, but if we don't purge it, it shall overcome in the end...my pleasure in darkness & light.

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Indeed, wow! A pain so deep my soul recalls the tears I cried. Creatively we can unearth the way God made us.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Brandon for stopping by to read.. xo

[Larry Dyson]

WOW.. so honestly pushing the denials away...keep it up..so eloquently said...and shared from privacy....many times i wonder if we will ever get any other the shameful type...?LAury

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Larry... xo

[sharonlee]

Powerful thoughts...I can relate so well.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you again Sharonlee... Yes there is a certain burden we bare sometimes to keep our pain silent as to not hurt others... shallimar

[Tai Ryens]

Such poetry is able to be powerful and gut-wrenching yet as soothing as a bedtime lullaby simultaneously. I love how this poem flows, well done.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Tai.. I am pretty new here and have not figured it all out yet but im trying.. sR