Avatar

observing

Avatar

he saw her picture there

glistening like a diamond

her beauty was undeniable

but words were unreliable

a counterfeit image

of synthetic dreams

and simulated promises

that pretended to be love

and he believed every word as truth

till the day he awoke to find her gone

the graying hairs on the pillow beside him

told a different story

and so he moved on

2012 bj smith

aka shallimarRose

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I like this...the world is changing. People are having complete relationships in the infinite abyss of cyberspace, never really knowing the touch of skin or the reality behind the "mask", as it were. I had a friend who had a relationship like this, and much like your piece, one day, her love just up and vanished--profile deleted, all existence erased. It is a sad truth, and one that seems to be happening much more often. Still, some of these relationships actually do work...who am I to judge. Well done write, my friend.

[shallimarRose]

In my case most of the ones I know that were hurt and deceived were male but yes it works both ways.. I had a female friend who was with a guy in the USA (she was not) online for over a year then he just stopped calling her or coming to messenger.. She was told he died but all traces show him very much alive and moving on.. Wow for what purpose..? Thanks Sarah.. xo

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I think a lot of times, people get into these "relationships" to make their lives more interesting, then when things get too "deep", they don't know any other way to handle things except for to disappear...too bad they don't realize that they are hurting people in the process.

[shallimarRose]

I was on a site (and this is not an exaggeration) They caught a woman with seven different profiles all pretending to be younger and each profile had a different boyfriend... People do get develop real feelings for the person in the picture and the roll play persona.. its sad.. thanks again hun.. xo

[ba_mcfarlane]

It is the net, cruise at your own risk cause the crazies can be whoever whatever out here in the reefer ether

[shallimarRose]

So true Brian.. so true... But so many are blinded by loneliness. I think they want to believe..

[ba_mcfarlane]

And some are voyeurs, and worse. They want to get in and mosey around in your life without ever offering anything of substance

[BIG P]

Documentation
4/5/18
4:13 PM U.S. CST
"My Review of Avatar by shalimarRose, a Fellow Writer's Cafe Author"
by PB Jacobs (www.writerscafe.org)

Hey!

Well, from what you are writing, dude didn't look at the big picture of who his lover really was. Dude must have been thinking with his you know what, and when he got sick of you know whatting her, she split, in favor of a new life experience chapter. Yeah, your poem kinda goes one way, and kind of another. It depends on what you are thinking, and what's on your mind, I guess. Me, I'd cover my a*s to the hilt and know what's what, before anything. Flesh can be deceiving, and so can the cooties that hide in it. I guess these guy's were lucky. But then again, you're not saying.

Why put yourself in a pretend situation to begin with? People have to learn to cover their asses, right off the bat, when it comes to having a lover. I don't buy half the b.s. that women lead on, as it's not them. It's just life's nuisances, and people who try to screw people over.

Yay!

PB Jacvobs (Yeah, I'll give you a decent rating)

[Ian Faraway]

The coming and going. How we perceive the world around us and how we perceive it can change. I enjoy reading this. J'adore! -Ian

[shallimarRose]

Thank you again Ian.. ... Anyone can be anyone and anything they want here.. It is so difficult to know what is real anymore.. Glad you enjoyed.. Rose

[Ian Faraway]

I know we're going into a world of philosophy by me saying this but everything we know is not real. I had this conversation with a friend of mine. Everything we've named, learned, or know was created by man... what if Man got it wrong with names and what is true? :P -Ian

[Allen Smuckler]

This is a really profound write Shallimar...and apparently meant different things..for different people.
Maybe it's my age, but I never thought cyberspace, though after reading it over a few times I can certainly see that..I thought of a long term relationship between two people that gradually disintegrated..both have aged and grayed....but I'm not quite sure who's hair is "beside him"...his or his partner. Many years under the bridge but someone wants to spread his or her wings, simply because it (the relationship) has run its course....and as you so succinctly pointed out, life goes on (obla di obla da), no matter what stage of your life.
This is a very honest, sincere and topical write, Shallimar. I took this to heart and believe in its message of change. Change is good, there's nothing wrong with change as long as it is not made for change alone. You beautifully and visually made this point in a succinct, unemotional way...almost matter-of factly. Also though not used often, your rhyming was perfectly placed and enabled me to keep the intended pace.
Excellent write Shallimar
allen

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Allen and I can certainly see where you are coming from.. I thought the cyberspace thing would be clear from the title Avatar... and the words.."he saw her picture" It was "a counterfeit image" I love your take on the matter.. The greying hair on the pillow was meant as metaphor.. She was never really there.. He thought he was talking to a younger woman when in reality it was an old lady trying to recapture her youth through re-inventing herself online.. It was actually for some male friend I have that this really happened too.. Thank you for reading and for the nice review.. xo Rose

[Glen Yumang Manese]

In touch with reality... the face behind the mask... is there really a person in there... A counterfeit image of synthetic dreams... caught my attention with this one...

[shallimarRose]

You read it as I had hoped it would be read.. Thank you Glen.. shallimarRose

[Clockwork]

I totally agree with Sarah on this one. Cyberspace has added a very complicated wrinkle into the equation of relationships. How much affection should we give? What kind of trust can we really earn with others without visual/verbal ques? Does a virtual friendship have the same gravity as one made outside of the internet?

Lines 9-11 in this one stood out for me, and described what happens all too often these days. Also, those last two lines hit me as well, because I am sort of horrified by how fast some individuals can move on after that happens to them.

I like your social commentary in this one.

[shallimarRose]

Thanks for taking time to read and review CW.. I just don't understand why so many actually go looking online for their so called other half.. I know there is a much bigger sea in cyber but it comes with such risk.. glad you got this one and liked it.. shallimarRose

[Angel]

What a sad story!
I have learned to be wary of internet romance. I suppose I'm too gullible for my own good...but I tend to believe that people are what they say they are. I mean...what would be the point in lying about who you are, fevvinsake?
But, I have learned, to my sorrow, that some people just can't seem to help themselves. Ahh, well...as my dear departed Grandpa would say...you live and you learn, or you don't live too long...
Lovely write!!

[shallimarRose]

Thank you for reading Angel (that is my daughters name).. Me too want to believe what I am told.. But then if they were real why not have a real photo up? We see the avatar and they become the avatar in a way.. Grandpa was a wise man.. shallimarRose

[Emerald Seas]

I've never understood cyber relationships, if you can call it that - a relationship. It is such a huge world of half-truths or full blown lies. People can take on any persona they so desire and some are so talented at deceit. Unfortunately, many people fall for such tall tales.
A clever write that touches on a very real, scary topic that hurts many these days.

[shallimarRose]

yes its true but on the other side of the spectrum I know several couples who met online and now are married or engaged.. It is possible to fall in love online but you have to be so careful because there are so many just lying in wait... Thank you for reading.. xo

[Emerald Seas]

You're welcome. I know of a few success stories, too. Being honest and open is key, of course. Showing and being who you are on line and in reality.

[shallimarRose]

yes I introduced my best friend to a man online that had first hit on me thinking i was single lol.. They have been living together for two years and got engaged on valentines day.. I like to take the credit lol but i know it was written in the stars with these two.. :)

[Everett DeValle]

Catfished! Lol a lovely lament on society on the Internet today...frankly, I've been writing on the net for years, back then everyone had fake avatars including myself...I miss those days when I got to write poetry in anonymity...I had one avatar just showing my bare chest and a dress shirt for years symbolizing that I'm baring my heart for all...but I've met many friends who were older that simply were young at heart...I would later see them reveal themselves over to me over time...nevertheless, regardless of age, they should be truthful of who they are because it does hurt the person who vulnerable to prey.

Lovely write.

[shallimarRose]

Thank you Everette.. Yes I am one of those older with a young heart.. lol It is one thing to change your age by a few years and quite another to send photos of models pretending they are you.. Or a college photo that was taken 20 years ago.. lol.. strange what goes on right under our nose sometimes.. Thank you for reading. shallimarRose

[Everett DeValle]

You are very welcome, Shallimar...Agreed...I always look for the poetry or interesting subjects. I'm pretty spiffy, if I see a fox in hen house. :)

[shallimarRose]

lol... good to know..

[Everett DeValle]

But you are a looker...I might rip you apart. jk ;)

[shallimarRose]

oooo kkkkk.... lmao

[Friday]

Often; way too often. Very well done!

[shallimarRose]

Why thank you Friday... I am happy you came to read.. I hope perhaps you will thumb through more of my pages.. shallimarRose