What Am I ?

What Am I ?

A Poem by raymondb
"

"

Forgive the clouds that

Rained inside

We all have tear we can not hide

For give the weather that

Snowed inside

Close me shut an ill stay dry

I can be opend

I can be closed

But some how people forget to do both

 

© 2012 raymondb


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Featured Review

I really like what i think this poem is trying to say and can see that it's related to being in some way hurt and in that respect can be taken in many different ways by the reader. The only problem is there are a few grammatical problems that you should probably work on.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I like this it's deep and powerful

Posted 12 Years Ago


I like it. Its deep there is strength in your writing!

Posted 12 Years Ago


It seems you have a lot to say in a few words :-). simple and powerful. As the others pointed out, it just needs a little editing. Maybe you could expand your thoughts more and take us on an epic journey.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This poem, despite it's grammatical errors, really hit home with me. It's simple and beautiful in that simplicity. It's message of forgiveness, human emotional fragility/vulnerability, and understanding of the fact that we all fail in being sympathetic with others at times... Very touching. That's how I interpreted it at first.

Thank you, truly, for reviewing my work.. I am glad you enjoyed it, and I really look forward to reading more of your poetry!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really like what i think this poem is trying to say and can see that it's related to being in some way hurt and in that respect can be taken in many different ways by the reader. The only problem is there are a few grammatical problems that you should probably work on.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Poetic beauty such as this is awe inspiring and really something that tugs at emotions best released with words.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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274 Views
6 Reviews
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Added on January 3, 2012
Last Updated on January 3, 2012

Author

raymondb
raymondb

Newark, NJ



About
My Name is Raymond Brison, Writerscafe is a new website for me so i no its going to work out. more..

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