The darkness within

There’s this sense of belonging in the darkness, You’re stared at, they think you have an illness, Nothing moves you, your soul’s become viscous, Everything’s fast paced but you feel this stillness. People say, “Pen it down, it helps” but when your thoughts are darker than the ink itself, you can’t help but listen to your inside’s yelps. When the mascara’s not what’s made those lashes wet, And when the mind’s left your body, conscience has far away leapt, and the eyes reflect an unsettling, uncanny depth, and the dirt of regret on your face is washed with the tears wept. Looking at the mirror, you even see yourself as a threat, those wounds are undying, it’s where all your wishes died a death. Simple pleasures now seem forced, your vocal chords now rusted, it’s been a while and half since you last spoke, paraphrenic illusions are your constants and cries are your good old bloke. Clothes with even a hint of colour, it’s been ages since you last wore, You’re so used to pain, now you crave even more, it’s all deep set inside you, all that you bore, You’ve never felt the warmth, so you don’t feel lovelorn. You wonder how far you can run away from this world’s coldness, In the age of playing with toys, you were played with, now your mind’s a mess, You’ve been covered with degrading rags, and you hope to undress, So until the day you fall asleep forever, you’re left to guess, how long till death unfetters you from a life so venomous? how long till you watch yourself, spiral into nothingness? -the spectacled brunette