Off Keel

I've so much love to give,

Carrying it around is painful.

Its like an earthquake inside,

Destroying me from within. 

It has poisoned my mind,

Love unfulfilled for so long,

It has turned to hate,

For myself, a crumpled old man.

Feels too late to change,

And love myself again.

Unworthy of a woman's touch,

Her light, her heart. 

She should be frightened,

Of the darkness inside me. 

A rage that wants to smash,

Everything, everyone.

With its devastated heart,

So dark and mighty. 

Trying to find peace within,

From this world that has tortured.

Trapped in a life I don't want,

One horrible set back after another.

I don't know how to right myself,

Off keel, even in the calm. 

A damaged ship with no crew,

Adrift in a sea of loneliness.

Misery seemingly unending,

But a woman could make it better.

If only I could find myself worthy,

Enough to let her in.