Darkness Prison

Writen by a friend of mine. =] He said I could post it here.

In the darkness, I lay.

 Cold and alone is easy to display.

 As I lay, words of doubt drill in my head.

 "Freak, Monster, You should be Dead."

At times I feel myself slipping into the darkness ever passing day.

 Till the day I saw a light in the form of a ray.

 In my awe, I found I was happy as can be.

 And the voice broke away and I felt free.

 But then what seemed to be on seconds, the ray disappear.

 With the realization that follows, the shadows soon consume me and reappear.

 Again I lay in my darken prison, waiting for the ray to appear. 

I wish and I hope that soon it will make this prison disappear.

 Finally after waiting for what seemed an eternity, it returns to make its mark.

 But something is wrong with it, it seems more dark,

 I run to it to see what can be done

 Then it hits me that the ray to has its own prison.

 I call and I shout but the darkness still stands.

 Then I yell out once more then I feel something under my hands.

 A thumping feel that I never felt before in my time.

 I didn’t know what it was but I knew it was fine.

 Just when I found hope to speak again.

 The ray is gone, and I am tossed back into the bin.

 I wait again for more time.

 In hopes that the ray will be fine.

 

By: Pyce.

 

Author's Note

Again, not my poem. =] But post what you think anyways. Thankies.

Reviews

[Reaverblade]

You always post such dark pieces of literature! Well, I enjoyed it, anyways, so, I guess I like reading dark literature. This poem was pretty good. I'm sad it was not yours, but I could tell immediately. Write your own poem!

[Larissa G.]

Hm. Well, here's my honest critique:
1) Some of the typing was wrong, which made it a bit hard to follow...
2) It was kinda confusing. Rhyme can sometimes help, but it's better to let the Rhymehappen by accident and not force or the poem can lose some of its meaning.

Still, I think I caught the meaning of the poem, and it wasn't bad. Thank you for posting it. :)