Who I am

Ice cold stare,
Yet flaming eyes,
Soul of darkness,
Pain inside.

Blackened heart,
Angered mood,
Evil spirit,
In Devil’s shoes.

Hope destroyed,
Faith no more,
Destiny shattered,
Life a void.

Nights are endless,
The thirst grows,
Life is pointless,
Craving for gore.

Innocent blood,
The search begins,
The taste of flesh,
Hate within.

 

Life in shadows,
Never seen,
Striking swiftly,
Senses keen.

Eternity alone,
Love is a tale,
Dreams don’t exist,
Hope is a fable.

Death in mind,
Suffering huge,
Nothing to gain,
Nothing to lose.

Maybe psychotic,
Probably deranged,
Mostly disturbed,
Poisoned brain.

Future a blur,
Time will tell,
Eternity on earth,
Forever in hell.

 

Author's Note

First good poem. ^-^

Reviews

[*~Imperfectly Me~*]

I like this dark feel you have, it seemed alittle forced at times but all in all it's good, i like the feel and the flow of it...

"Maybe psychotic,
Probably deranged,
Mostly disturbed,
Poisoned brain." This was my favorite stanza in the poem... so much said! this is really good... Great Job!

[felweed]

The darkness is very evident in thos poem of yours, hopefully it never comes back that bad

[Reaverblade]

This IS a good poem. I'll go easy on you, since this is your first good one. It flows pretty well, but it's missing something. I don't know what it is missing, though, so I can't help you. Again, you seem to write more prose than actual poetry, but I guess it's all the same in the end. You must have been quite depressed when you wrote this.

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

Well written, it gave me shivers, I just watch a documentry about the Dracula family and they were sick people, I understand where the vampire stories come from, scary.

Thanks for entering my contes and good luck to you.

[Wolfwind Words]

This piece was really well developed, a balance of a vampires, lust's, dreams, and self loathing.
I think it flowed smooth and came across strong.

Great Write!

Aaron Maycroft

[Adrian K. Smith]

Ah, the potential for a life led darkly shines darkly here. I agree that it still has some of the romanticism of the night that may appear in what some may call teen angst. It does not have the sheer ennui of one who finds the whole affair pointless. It gives it a different kind of power than those would have. If one could find a night predator to be cute and precious, they would understand this.... well done.

[Dr. S. D. Blankenship D..]

Hello, I loved the dark mood and the way you wrote it. The way you are specking is just life, "Alone and forsaken". I did love reading this.
I give this a high 100%


Shawn

[Enigma]

Whoa!! That was stunning. Simply brilliant. How can you call it 'good' when it's outstanding!!!
I loved it. So well crafted. Such rhythm, such flow, such emotions. Alll accounts for one thing, excellent poetry...!!!
I'm feeling low today and well, can easily relate to all this. So much of strong emotions are bruning up inside me that I'm trying hard to find an outlet....Hmm...
It was superb!!! Very well done!!!

[Staci Brown]

ahhh teen angst.... your musical influence shines thru as this reads more like lyrics than a poem, kewl with me girl as i'm a musician myself :D i was surprised to see some Atreyu in your play list along with the bands

good start for a song here, might need to adjust a few lines if ya ever work it into a song tho...

Faerie Blessings!

--faerie whisper (breaking the silence...)

[Mariah]

I really enjoyed the end.

The short lines and fragmented ideas are great. Kind of dark....but nice.

XD