Against The World

The way I feel, is unlike any feeling known to mankind or any other breed of living flesh.
The way I feel is like that of a thousand rivers and oceans colliding together.
It's like the sky when it opens up and ends the day with darkness.
The pain and torture is like that of a million screams and a thousand sharp blades penetrating skin to the bone.
I am against the world and the world is against me.
The more I try to fit in, the more I start hating myself for trying and wanting to change.
There must be something out there that is similar in nature and in perfection like me.
I cannot keep grinding against the entire world, not without an army I cannot.
My question is, do I gain their trust and then turn them against each other? Or do I live an ordinary life? What are the plans of my future?