One: The Beginning

OK, my first attempt at a backgroud story for Allwyn, written with a little help from sessions with a friend on gaia... Hopefully the first of a series...

It was a dark night when Allwyn finally saw the welcoming lights of the building. After weeks of fending off wild animals in the woods and relying on primal instincts for food and shelter Allwyn finally found hope. Stumbling through the open gates, eyes darted left and right scanning for bodies present out the front of the building. Sensing none, Allwyn continued towards the looming building in front of her. It was at the front of this building Allwyn was greeted by whom was to be her closest ally in the fight to get her life back.

                      -***-

Allwyn sat on the end of her bed in the guild halls. She’d been living with Juunikyu in her room for several months now and not once had her friend asked of her past in any more detail than she had when they first met outside the guild building. Every day Allwyn told herself that she would tell Juunikyu everything before sunset on that day, and every day she could not bring herself to speak.

Today was another of those days. Every day Allwyn could sense her pursuers gaining ground and getting closer to her. The guild was designed as a safe haven but with the size of the buildings and the extent of the land, it was hardly inconspicuous. Wandering down to the archery range Allwyn thought of the events that got her to this point, only one image came to mind, that of Lunar. Shaking the image from her mind Allwyn remembered how the changeling had infiltrated her family and the whole elvin community she had once called home. He had single-handedly turned her own kind against her with lies of her knowingly getting involved with banished changelings, promising a release from exile when she followed her fathers footsteps to rule the forest. By running away she had practically condemned herself, who in their right mind would have run away when they were innocent! Stomping through the glade on the eastern side of the range Allwyn threw herself down by a stump on the edge of the waiting area. The range was unusually busy today and new characters that Allwyn didn’t recognise were stood in wait for their turn.

‘Hmm, fresh blood. Wonder how good they’ll be.’ She thought to herself as one of the youngsters stepped up to the mark. As the young boy took aim Allwyn saw a glint in the youngsters eye that she knew had been missing from her own eyes for some time now. That glint was the carefree joy of your first bow and quiver, closing her eyes Allwyn thought back to when her father presented her with her very first bow. It was a momentous occasion, shame her first hunt wasn’t as celebration-worthy. Allwyn had not been the most gifted archer but this only drove her to practise longer and harder until she was as good as her peers, if not better, and it was this determination which pushed her to head of the elvin hunters. Upon opening her eyes Allwyn saw the commotion beginning to unfold in front of her. Arrows were coming from seemingly random directions, all aimed at the centre of the archery range. Allwyn slid behind a nearby tree assessing the flight paths of the rogue arrows.

“Not here. Not now!” The exasperated plea came almost instinctively as Allwyn spotted the origin of these arrows, bounty hunters. Sliding through the trees Allwyn pulled a bow from her quiver and took aim, one arrow fired hitting one of the rogues in the leg. Steadily moving and taking aim at the same time Allwyn slowly worked her way back to the guild, making sure that there was no pattern to her movements or shots that would give her position away.

On reaching the guild building chaos had broken out as the news from the archery range arrived. Franticly scanning the crowds of people rushing past, Allwyn caught sight of Juunikyu.

“Juuni! Quick, this way!” Allwyn grabbed her closest companion and hauled her into a side passage and away from the noise. “There’s something going on at the archery range and it’s because I’m here, I need your help to get these creatures out of the guild before anyone gets hurt.”

Juunikyu regarded her friend closely, in the many months they’d been together she had seen many sides to Allwyn; the joy and carefree attitude tied with wisdom beyond years, but this was new. Allwyn looked back in desperation, what was taking her friend so long to respond? Glancing back over her shoulder she began to move back towards the entrance of the building when she felt a slight pressure on her arm.

“What do you need me to do?”

Reviews

[A. Cornelius]

You have a lot of good material here. There are so many parts that I would love to see expanded on and brought out in more detail. The brief back story is tantalizing, but informative enough for a first glimpse, but I'd really love a more detailed look at her relationship with her friend. You kind of gloss over their meeting and the jump is a little awkward. The jump from her reminiscing to the attack is also a bit sudden and jolting. I'm assuming that you're going for surprise, but perhaps even a paragraph break would make it flow a little better. All in all I very much enjoyed reading it. I just wish that there was a little more detail in it.

There are also several grammatical errors. If you would like a more detailed edit and review I'd be more than happy to give you one. Just let me know.

[Yaooooooo]

Very well writen.
Keep up the good work and feel free to send me a request.
One!