Who is worth saving?

I just need to put my pain somewhere and this is only place I really have

I once said in a poem that everything could be saved as long as it was worth saving...
So why is my heart still broken?
Am I to learn that I can never be saved?
--That I am not worth saving?
So who is?

What determines the value of a human heart?
Is it by the people the person has helped?
Or by the people who have helped the person?
Who here is worth saving?

I like to think I have value
-In fact Im sure I do...
But where are those that value me?
Why is it that everywhere I turn I find dead ends?
And everywhere I run collapses around me.

I needed time away from my world so that it could heal
But Im back and all I find are bandages
--Used to mask the bleeding

I tell everyone around me that Im doing well.
They dont really care,
They asked a generic question and I gave a generic answer.
They walk away happy and move on
I walk away torn and lying face first in the dirt
Wondering if I am even worth saving

Pain is such a relative term.
When I had my wisdom teeth pulled my face was gaunt with pain...
--Yet my soul felt nothing.
It was like my body was telling me it hurts but my heart said no
This is nothing, I feel worse pain on a daily basis
The pain wasn't worth saving

When do I get to feel okay again?
When do I get to move on?
Am I worth saving?

I keep starting to write my pain into words
And everytime I leave the poem without saving it...
Somehow I finished this sorry excuse for one.
Maybe it isnt worth saving,
--Maybe I should have trashed this one too
But this is how I feel, this is who I am
Perhaps Im not worth saving either.

Author's Note

I dont really know what to think. I will never give up on life but at this time in my life, I dont have a shoulder to cry on. I just need to express myself somewhere before I give up on myself