Foliage

Gonna try and keep my head up with the weight of sorrows hanging around my neck

Thick in the foliage of despair and life
Right between the two trees of sorrow and loss,
I find myself wondering how this happened to me?
I didn't look for it,
--I fought it when it came..
But the winds of love pushed me to my new home
To the place no one escapes.

I've wandered these woods for so very long
trying to get out
but broken promises and painful words
keep pushing me around
I don't know what to think anymore,
I almost don't know how to feel

And everywhere I go, its the same
Masks of perfection
-- and ugly faces
Yelling, bitterness, hatred
--Except in hers.
She was the glowing flower amongst the weeds of my enemies
The shining moon against the starless night
She was my hope of better times and better places...

And she was gorgeous
-In every way
--And in every moment.

But all that's left are weeds
The trees cover the entire sky
And I don't get to see her very often any more
-Unless I lay my head to sleep

Of course, it probably seems like just one big cliche
To the one who merely glances at the outward trees
But come a little closer, a bit farther into the forest of my feelings...
-And you will see this heart beats true and pure

So I wait for an opening
On either side of my forest
To escape mine,
or to enter hers...
And I know that either way, there will be

Sunshine amidst the foliage

Reviews

[Neal S]

This was great. I agree with Nemo and i'm feeling this one. The third stanza could be a work on its own. Good stuff!

[Darian B.]

Thanks so much Neal, always helps to hear good reviews :)

[Lorry]

Yeah, anyone reading this will feel this piece. You have encapsulated all the cuts and bruises that can't be seen, unless you use a mirror to look into your own eyes, with lines that truly resonate those echoes we all have in our hearts and minds. It's of no consequence at all, but you have just created something beautiful out of pain. Something that may just be read and connect and alleviate another's.
I think you have also made the "just an amateur writer" part of your profile a bit redundant with these emotions on paper. Superbly captured.

[Darian B.]

Thank you Nemo, truly your words mean a lot. I've actually been meaning to change my profile for awhile but not necessarily because of that. I'm very deeply flattered that you believe I am no longer an amateur writer (though I will always have my doubts). I think though that the ability to create beauty from pain is of the utmost consequence though; its the thing that keeps me going when the nights get the most tough and its the reason I will never blame her for any pain I feel. As poets I feel as though we have a much greater ability to feel than most people and we are tasked with the responsibility to create beauty in places where it does not seem to exist. We will always be the ones who fall down but it is so we can lift others up. And we are always there to lift each other up and keep one another going, so thank you

[Lorry]

I am sure your words in review are far more poetic than the review itself, but I completely understand the hows and whys of being how we are. It isn't for nothing that people say that the pen bleeds our emotions, it is who we are and is painful at times, but would we have it any other way?