Sailboat Sailing through Solitude

Sailboat Sailing through Solitude

A Poem by Sophie
"

Everything happens so that we can grow, for reasons sometimes we can't understand.

"
Maybe I should just accept,
That now's not the time to be,
Dreaming and searching in the clouds
Looking to share love with He

Before the Sailboat reaches land,
On it's journey I sail,
I must, for now, sail alone
On it's journey I must sail

Creatures, spirits, souls I meet
Send me many a sign
What you need is Solitude
With Solitude you'll shine

Now my heart fondly accepts,
In Solitude the storm will pass,
The seed has been planted,
Now it may grow,
My sailboat glides on it's path

© 2016 Sophie


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that 3rd stanza is beautiful Soph

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I enjoyed this poem. I believe solitude to be a beautiful thing as opposed to loneliness. I think that the metaphor of a journey fits well with it, especially because this journey is connected to the ocean/water, which has the capability of being gentle and violent, good and bad, intimidating and reassuring. Nice work.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Very nice job - sometimes it is better to go it alone rather than getting tangled up in a relationship. Sometimes you need to step back and get a new perspective by taking some time off. I love the analogy of you going it alone being a 'sailboat sailing through solitude' - very clever & deep.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Sophie

8 Years Ago

It's true but a lot of the time your mind is pushing for what it desires and can be so stubborn you .. read more
"Looking to share love with He "

This is Yoda-speak. No one talks like that, naturally, so what you're doing is forcing the line to make the rhyme. But rhyme isn't the purpose of structured poetry, it's only percussion, so the word must perfectly fit the thought, with the rhyme seeming almost accidental. I would strongly suggest you read the excerpt for Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled, on Amazon, for what it has to say about poetry, prosody, and language, in general.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Sophie

8 Years Ago

I like that line, I think using He in that way sounds really nice and makes it unique. Thanks for re.. read more
Nice idea and your thoughts flow sweetly with the image of the sailboat. I was somewhat distracted by the mis-spelling of its throughout. It's = it is. You meant one every occasion its = belong to it. You can easily correct it, and then see if you can make the rhythm less fractured.

But I like the planting of the seed and the search for solitude. Maybe 'He' is to be found there. Glide one.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Sophie

8 Years Ago

Thanks for telling me that, I think I use good grammar but actually I make so many mistakes!

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387 Views
5 Reviews
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Added on September 24, 2016
Last Updated on September 24, 2016

Author

Sophie
Sophie

United Kingdom



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