Transcendence Dream

I dream vividly every night, the moment I close my eyes to when my alarm blares in my ears. And every time I sleep, I see him. He's not always the same character, his personality changes, he gains new quirks, new little traits he likes to share. He'll drive around with one of his arms draping over my shoulders, or he'll be shooting alongside of me, running for our lives. He'll brew me a cup of coffee and we'll talk for awhile, or he'll tease me a bit, bringing the rose pink to my cheeks. He'll listen to all my problems as I lay in his lap, my back against his chest, his fingers intertwined with mine as he breaths into my ear everything I longed to hear. There are times when we are silent, enjoying each others presence, his scent filling me with assurance, my muscles relaxing as I feel safe. There are times when we are escaping from anything authoritative and in our face, there are screams behind us as we laugh our hearts out. 

We bend the rules of the world to our will, we shape any looming existence into our pets, and we ride them out like a wave. We live by each other's sides, but we are the wall we wish to surpass. We love everything that makes us, everything that breaks us, but we can't help but hate ourselves, because we overwhelm. Even if we make our dream world the very art of our perfection, we are not perfect, our flaws reflect us, and the world reflects it. We are haunted by all that we are, because it is what we are not. But at least in my dreams, I'm not alone. I have him by my side until daylight, and when he leaves, and the alarm screeches at me, I'm back here. I'm here in the real world. The world where no one hears a single goddamn word that I'm saying, or respects me, or encourages me. This dreadful, awful, dastardly, corrupted world where anything bright is hidden under all the soot and smog. I'm still searching for that little spark of hope, because my dream world can't supply it. Yes, I have him in my dreams, but he's gone when I leave. He never remembers me when I return because he never existed. And those who do exist and are besides me, they are no more concrete than him. However, maybe it is for the best. Anything sparkly will most likely rust in my hands, anything fragile will shatter, and anything with a smile will only hurt me more. If there were to be anything near perfection within a certain radius of me, it will fade like my dreams. Then my nightmares will have come true, that I have ruined everything that was good. Just as I have ruined him, and we have scorched our dreams to oblivion.

Reviews

[JJKimii]

Beautiful writing. I can definitely relate to the yearning for a companion that listens and sincerely cares, so this really resonated with me. This piece is like looking into a mirror. I love the melancholy you create; it's haunting in the loveliest way. The feelings in this feel very real and tangible.
I really liked this part: "Anything sparkly will most likely rust in my hands, anything fragile will shatter, and anything with a smile will only hurt me more. If there were to be anything near perfection within a certain radius of me, it will fade like my dreams. Then my nightmares will have come true, that I have ruined everything that was good." The last line was also very lovely and was a perfect way to end it. Good job on such raw, beautiful writing!

[wolfie]

Thank you so much, I am glad you liked it. Even more so that you were able to connect with it. I hope to continue writing such pieces in the future.