Living Formula

The world cannot be perceived in the first glance. The first view of the world is in the eyes of wonder, everything is new and shiny. You wonder why anyone would leave something out of your reach, when it could be conveniently placed below. You wonder what certain sequence of events could occur if you simply place this object here...no there...or down here....and then you're scolded by your elders. As you waddle your way around, you creep into dark places, and scurry out. You climb the highest metal mountains and slide down. The world is yours....until you are placed in line. You're learning is what everyone says, you'll learn what it means to be absent of mistakes. Yet the mistakes still come followed by more intense scolding. There are numbers now, billions of numbers that seem to even haunt you in your dreams. There are books, words, new worlds described, and you almost believe it if it weren't for the correction made that they are a work of fiction. FICTION!!! How enlightening and disillusioning. It makes you long for what is not there, wish for a place extinct from the beginning of time. However, there are papers, papers recorded of your life. To dream of such things are recorded as well, but....they leave a red mark. You've learnt the red mark on the records are something to avoid. You've heard of the rumors, those with red records are never accomplished, they remain unhappy and die unhappy lives. What is happiness then? Obedience? Then your birthday comes around, you blow the candles, make a wish. "TO BECOME A DOCTOR" "A SCIENTIST" "A LAWYER" or something other. How restraint! It's better than most actually become, but the whole fulfillment is not complete. So then you live two worlds, the one in which you live and spend the rest of your days besides those you know must occur, within the eyes of your elders, and cycle of social causes. And then the life only you are aware of, forever changing in your dreams when you sleep, deep into your subconscious that only you can control. However, what you experience in a dream is something far from reach, it is unattainable. And to attain it is to do to what is easy and what is impossible. So, you compromise, you leave your dreams to the side, not a single word spoken, retained behind your mumbling lips, secrets of the night. You live the day as you normally do, everything you wish you could do, left behind. You smile...you study....you live.....live.....What is living? Is it Obedience? Is it to do what is expected of you? It seemed as though the most rebellious thing you could do is to become an artist...no a female artist....and when you tell others you're an artist, it almost seems like a huge neon sign repeatedly blinking the words; "UNSUCCESSFUL". However, anyone else wouldn't have mattered, so why are those words above you? Therefore, you continue to live on, studying, working, accomplishing.....accomplishing what exactly? This is when awareness steps in and fumbles with the drawers in your mind. The cabinets that read "DREAMS" are thrown in the trash bin while those in the "GOAL" cabinets are organized, spaced, and numbered appropriately. Of course, it is difficult to forget, just as difficult as it is to keep. However, by the time you've accustomed yourself to the world, you begin to tell others of your ideas sprung from the lessons learned from what you believed were mundane things. You repeat what was heard, 'FIFTH AMENDMENT: THE RIGHT TO SPEAK; MIRANDA RIGHTS; RIGHT TO A GRAND JURY' or 'VIRUSES: MOST STUDIED IS SPANISH INFLUENZA; SOME VIRUSES CAN CAUSE CANCER' and 'FUTURE: MORE USE OF NANOTECHNOLOGY', then the ideas pop, '(NANO + ANTIVIRAL^RETROVIRUS / GENETICS)(PUBLICATION) = INSPIRATION FOR A CAUSE'. Then another problem occurs.....There are no statistics, no research, no real direction, and to you it makes sense, but to the rest of the world it is nonsense. Just another "DREAM" in the trash bin. So, if a "GOAL" is not equal to a "DREAM" in some sense....then wouldn't nothing be accomplished? Isn't a "DREAM" really a "GOAL" but simply translated into a more sensible code? Isn't that what the world aspires, 'DREAM^MUNDANE = GOAL x PROGRESS = SUCCESS'. If that formula is true, then perhaps there is no thing in world that has no meaning. And no "DREAM" deserves a reservation in a trash bin.