After the party { Chapter One}

I gasped taking Edward's hand. He smiled and whisperd something only I could hear. " Bella, don't worry... they're leaving the party now... alice is making sure everyone leaves now." He said with my favorite crooked smile on his face. I smiled and tucked myself closer to him. "EDWARD, BELLA!!!" I heard a voice call. It was Carmella, Emmett's girlfriend. I smiled but didn't move... I was glad to be with Edward. " Bella... Mike Newton was asking about you... I told him your answer was yes to all of the above!". I frowned and sighed " What did he ask carmella?". Carmella smirked,I knew she'd do something like this, she's just like Emmett. " Oh, the usual questions. Will you date him. Will you ever sleep with him. Would you like to carry his baby... the usual" I frowned as heard a grawl come from edward's chest. I looked at carmella, she was so beautiful... vampires tend to be like that. Edward looked down at me and smiled "don't worry, she's joking." I noticed edward look at Carmella with an annoyed expression on his face.

I knew it... no dout Carmella would do something like this, to someone else... not me. I almost smiled at her, but I didn't want to take my eyes off edward. " I'll just be going then." Carmella said plainly and left to help Emmett stuff jasper's coat with jumbo shrimp, I barely noticed her walk away. All I could think about was making an excuse to leave with Edward. I Yawned, but I wasn't tired. Edward laughed and whispered to me. " Bella, would you like me to take you home?". I nodded. He lead me out the door, into the garage and into his silver volvo. I yawned once more for show, then I stared at his beautiful face in the moonlight. His perfect face had a smile on it... calm eyes, he was looking at the road then turned to me. He smiled at me... but didn't speak, it was perfect. Then I remembered why I was angry with alice, but mostly Carmella.I don't like parties, but I put up with this one for The cullen's sake. Carmella wanted to throw the party just to get on my nerves... she likes it when I yell at her, it's amuses her. We stopped in front of my house and I noticed Charlie's car wasn't in the driveway. I almost gasped, but remembered that he'd planned to go with Billy to Ohio to fish in Lake Erie. I shook off the shock that was still there and went to open the door, Edward beat me to it. I smiled at him, " Edward, are you gonna stay with me tonight?" . I said soflty, sweetly. We were already in the house when he answered my question "of course.".

I smiled happily knowing I get another chance to be with Edward all alone. I sat on the couch and waited for him to join me, but he sat looking out the window with a strange expression. I frowned knowing this could mean one of two things, 1. Edward is infatuated with the living room's window or 2. something is coming. I sighed and Edward turned around. " Bella...is everything ok?" he said, his velvet voice ringing in my ears. I smiled, and shook my head. He just nodded and turned back to the window. I usually don't like attention, but I hate when Edward ignores me, which is rare but when it happens... it sucks! I sighed agian and noticed Edward turned halfway before there was loud boom outside. I bounced off the couch almost as fast as Edward had turned around to look outside agian, this time with me at his side. I looked into the dark and saw nothing other then the wet woods. Then something caught my eye, an animal. I wanted to just go out and hit it across the head, it was jake. I half smiled at Edward to reassure him I'm ok, he frowned. " It's jake..." I said plainly.

 

 

Edward shook his head, " no, it's jacob in wolf form, highly dangerous!". I looked out at the big dumb wolf that is my best friend. I smiled and headed towards the door. Edward was already there blocking it. " Bella, no." he said with a protective tone in his voice. I tried to push past him, I failed. " it's dangerous bella, let him change.". I simply walked back to the couch and sat down. I can still play this right, I can say hey to Jake and still have a night alone with Edward.

" Edward, I want to spend time with you... more then anything! So let me get rid of jake." I said trying to hide my plan. I smiled and stood back up to go towards the door agian. Edward blocked it agian. " I can get rid of him. Bella, just stay here" He said as he turned to open the door, I noticed what he was going to do. " No! Edward, please let me do this!". I almost screamed. Edward froze with a frown on his face, I walked past him toward the door , but before I made it all the way out Edward whispered to me. " Bella..." he whispered and I turned around. He put both hands on either side of my face and kissed me. " Be careful love" .

I stood there frozen and not wanting to go talk to jake anymore. I knew Edward would pull this card, the sad thing about it is that Edward doesn't realize that all he has to do to slow me down is kiss me. I heard a howl come from outside, jake was getting impatiant. I went to turn but Edward caught me in another kiss, I held the kiss as long as it would go. Edward let go of me and smiled.

" Be safe, I'm here." He said plainly

I was still trying to even out my breath. " uh, yeah... I'll be back really fast! WE can continue this later!" I said smiling at him as I walked out the door. I was looking for the huge russet wolf but I couldn't find him. All of a sudden a huge figure came out from behind two trees. It was jake, he had changed to human form to talk. He was wearing black strech pants and no shirt. He smiled showing his white teeth off.

" Hey Bells!!" He said happily. I looked at him and smiled.

" Hey jake! uh, you kinda caught me in the middle off something..." I said trying to be nice and hide my angist.

" the bloodsucker? I get it, well I just wantd to tell you that Seth wants your help." Jacob said with alittle anger in his voice.

" what? what does seth need?" I asked, I was acually curious.

" He needs someone to look after his girlfriend, Amy. For a week, starting next friday." he said still anger in his voice.

" I, I guess I can help.. .tell seth ok!" I said rushing to go back to Edward. " Bye jake. I'll come see you tomarrow at La push.". I smiled sweetly and pushed the door open. Edward was watching us out the window the whole time, I wasn't surprised. I sat down and turned the t.v on. I looked at him as he walk from the window to the couch to sit next to me. I smiled at him, half a smile. " I'm alive..." I said playfully

" let's be thankful of that." Edward said with a tiny bit of anger in his voice.

" oh, Edward... We have all night to argue about this, for now that get back to where we started earlier!" I said trying to hide my angist.

" Bella, I'm not sure you under stand the true danger of werewolves. La push isn't safe for you! " He said contently this time.

" I understand... they won't hurt me! Just like you would never hurt me. Let's drop this for now... I don't wanna talk about this now, I just want you!" I said letting the angist spill over and make it obvious that I wanted him right now! Edward smiled his crooked grin, that was it... it was over, I couldn't stay away from him. We were going to have 'fun' tonight. I was going to take this as far as Edward would allow... and try to take it further. I threw myself ontop of Edward and pressed my lips on his. He kissed me back gently. I know tonight's gonna be good!

Reviews

[Strife]

You can't keep taking off my review because it's not saying how speshul you are. This is bad. It needs proofreading. It needs editing. Do you get what I'm saying to you? Have you read a book called "The Elements of Style" because you really need to. You can't keep pretending that this is good.

By the way, this piece of work is up at TwilightSucks.com

[Hotaru Miyuki]

i love this!!!!!! dont listen to any of them! they're a bunch of retards XD keep writing!

[Sawyer]

1) Your grammar is bad... basically, the surface of your writing is just bad. It's not that hard to clear up, but at this point, it's difficult for me to get passed all those errors to the actual point of the story. Look:

I gasped, taking Edward's hand. "Bella, don't worry. They're leaving the party now. Alice is making sure everyone leaves now," he whispered so only I could hear and flashed me his crooked smile, one of the things I loved most about him.

I wouldn't call that great writing right there, but it's better than the original and it says essentially the same thing.

2) Your style isn't so great, either. Where are you taking me and why are these characters in the position they're in now? Good fanfiction should be understandable and even enjoyable to someone who hasn't read the books or seen the movie. There's no build up here, no opening description, nothing. Reading this story is like jumping headfirst into a freezing cold lake. You're not ready for the action and it isn't pleasant. In fact, it sort of makes your head hurt.

I'd get a beta reader or at least spend a little more time editing before continuing.

[Kathryn Star, Shine!]

I think you did a good job, and you should go on with this. It takes inspiration, yours is the vampires, and Twilight. There are so many people who have started out just like you, who have lost themselves in a book, and just want more, so they write more. Bella is my favorite character, but Alice is a runner up! lol Keep writing, and don't give up! Remember, when you are writing a novella, short story or even if you are going to the top to a novel, dialogue is what keeps the attention of the reader. Good job! ks.