saved suicide

She's crying out for death
She cries to be struck down
for if Death's embrace
where to take her away
no more would she feel pain
She sits in a room and looks about
at the myriad of faces that surround her
wondering if it was possible
that one of those many faces
would care if she left
and entered Death's embrace
As she trudged down the street
she began to think
of how the world would be
if she no longer existed.
Contemplating that the world would be better
if she wasn't taking up space
Quickly running home
she rushed up to her room
and scribbled a short quick letter
that explained the reason of her demise
Running downstairs to grab the gun
that would throw her into Death's embrace
When her foot lighted upon the last step
the shrill voice of the phone rang out
ignoring the ringing sound
she went on her search again
As she dug through the drawers
the machine began to play
and out came a soft sweet voice
and this is what it said
You may not know who I am
But I know you
You amaze me and make me feel special
You may not remember
But you once saved me
Now it's my time to save you
I don't know what you're going through
And probably never will
The machine stopped and silent washed over
Tears falling down
I never knew someone cared
I'm no longer alone

Reviews

[Sarah Hobbit]

Wow.... This poem made me shiver. I know what it is like to have those thoughts, it is so hard. I love the way you have writen this. Its amazingly put.
Well done
Sarah :-)

[*** Hey Jude***]

Having lost friends to suicide makes this piece palpable. Knowing someone cares, and understands can save a life. I have no doubt!

[Allan Eddings]

A good write, simple and not overly worked with metaphor or simile - and all the better for it. It stands starkly and presents its subject without an flourish, instead it presents it as naked and cold. I enjoyed it immensely.

As for the subject matter I confess I write extensively on suicide as part of my philosophical writings. As an absurdist it is perhaps my main preoccupation, so I do enjoy pieces upon this subject. Though I confess I find the hopeful tenor of the piece disappointing, but then I must ha! An absurdist neither hopes nor despairs they revolt - or at least I believe and articulate.

Sorry I ramble again. I shall finish by saying thank you for sharing and I am enjoying reading your work immensely,
A.E.

[Richy Moon]

... I think many people think that killing yourself is cowardice, but its really just an attempt to get away from all bad things in life. I like the ending alot, how she is saved by someone simply saying he cares. I like it, I do hope you keep on writing!

[Tomislav Petricevic]

Wow. The ending of this one really surprised me. I thought it was just going to be another depressing story about stupid people running away from their problems by killing themselves. Death is so...limiting. We only get one life, so why not live it the best we can?
Good write, I enjoyed it very much.

[MOON]

Poignant write , yet so hopeful. People care.

[Shy Girl]

All it takes is one break in thought of disappearing and the zone splits into pieces. The brain can quickly start asking the questions that prior your inner voice had given up and took over with becoming invisible. That split you captured here in the ending was just the ticket...a different voice speaking...a suprise...a faulter in purpose for a split second and the entire equation shifts. Will they miss me...who will miss me...is this right..and the list goes on and on. What a turn around from the begining...Very smart ending to this piece. Hope is a wonderful spirit changer :)

[Victoria Elizabeth]

very good, i loved it!

[None]

Wow. Totally been there and a similar thing happened. Great poem. Well written. I like the short story like lines that feed one into the other. Also, the voice and tone of the piece and your imagery of death's arms, etc. is well applied. I love the idea of the answering machine too. Suspenseful, enthralling, grabbing read. Makes you want to call the people you care about.

[Monica]

"Now it's my time to save you
I don't know what you're going through
And probably never will"
...such an honest statement, we can never truly understand the weight another may carry, but sometimes, a few kind words will reach out and touch someone...and in this case, save their life.
You did a great job taking us on this journey and reminding us that we may not be as alone as thought.