Spirit of Fear

This comes from a time in my life that was indescribably terrifying. This work describes what was in my mind and what I learned.

 

 

 

 

Fear is a spirit

Dark and heavy

It pummels me fast and hard

It pushes and pulls

I have a sense of urgency

I am pressed to make a decision

That will lead to Its invasion of my soul

My flesh, pressed out of measure

pushes me with wholly convincing words

Say the words of agreement

Let it in

My renewed mind wars with the fallen one

speaking wisdom...

Fear only seeks to work its will on you

The will of its father

The father of all lies

The waster who comes to destroy

The decision made out fear

Is doomed to failure from the start

But now Fear forcefully interrupts

He is most impolite

"Do it now! Do it now!

Do not think

Do not retreat to a seemingly safer mindset

There is no such thing

This is no trap

It is only natural

Look around you at what is happening

This is a disaster

You are a fool to stand there

doing nothing

Move

Move into the safe place I have prepared for you

Wild-eyed and fainting with panic

I give in in desperation

I do as I am bid

ignoring the person I know in my spirit is behind the voice

I feel momentary relief

Because I am 'doing something'...

And like a startling deer

is shot through the heart by the wily hunter

I am pierced through with vicious arrows 

And the low, menacing voice of my tormentor bends my ear again

Doubt me not, now I have you

In my scaly clutches

Because you have made an alliance with me

Just by heeding my voice

And your eyes that rolled in anxiety at my coming

will see where I have really lead you

at the last

And you will know of my deception

But as you rail against the thing you have agreed to

Beating against the bars of the prison

Of your own creation

You will know that you have set the sentence

Simply by obeying my voice

you have let me in

To do my worst"

And in that moment

I know once again that I will not be free

apart from faith

But I need a point on which to focus

I have walked too far away from my path

I have come so low that only darkness surrounds me

Thick as a smothering blanket

weighing me down

And I cannot get up

But lo...

I hear a soft sigh

A mere breath

But I know this voice

And I feel the jagged edges of my shattered mind

pull together once again

The Spirit is speaking...

whispering...

Now, you are in a position to listen

It is time to remember who you are

and what you are meant for

Faith is the victory

Look up

You will see that your prison

has no ceiling

And the angels will lift you out

if only you will say the words

Agree with ME now

It is not too late

Let me rescue you

You know I am not a man

that I should lie

Look up in faith

And fly away with the angels

 

 
 

 

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

I'm not very good at deciphering/interpreting poems, but my guess is that there was fear of a relationship--a bad relationship, most likely. At the last you see that all is not lost, that there is an exit. Perhaps it was faith in a higher power. At any rate, you apparently survived the ordeal and may even be stronger for it now. That's what I call a happy ending.