The Big Bad Wolf: Part 3

The Big Bad Wolf: Part 3

A Poem by Sirius King
"

Part 3 (Crying Wolf)

"

The Big Bad Wolf

Part 3 (Crying Wolf)

 

I hopped on the bike

And grabbed granny by the waist

We sped past the police

Who were now on the chase

 

About 30 cop cars behind us

 My heart was going to explode

We whizzed through traffic

 Down ‘The Yellow Brick Road’

 

Then we turned a corner

And lost them on ‘Sesame Street’

That’s when I ditched granny

Leaping off the bike,

Landing on my feet

 

As I ran into the woods

I could hear her scream and shout

“How dare you bail on me?

…After I bailed you out!”

 

Then she pulled out a pink pistol

And pointed it straight at me

I thought that I was doomed

When I heard the BOOM!

But the bullet hit a tree

 

I ran deeper into the woods

Until I was completely out of sight

I found an abandoned foxhole

And that’s where I stayed the night

******************************************************************************

I watched the sunrise in the morning

Of course, I didn’t get much sleep

And my stomach started growling

Once I heard the sound of sheep

 

I peeked around the corner

And saw a hundred sheep on a hill

It was an ‘all you can eat’ buffet

A hundred fluffy ‘happy meals’

 

I tip-toed a little closer

As I plotted out my ploy

But I had to go to ‘Plan B’

For they were guarded by a shepherd boy

 

The boy made a lot of noise

He was yelling in an erratic tone

He seemed to be slightly schizophrenic

Or suffering from turrets syndrome

 

There was definitely something wrong

Because he was arguing with himself

And banging his head against a tree

…this kid really needs some help

 

As the sheep wandered about

The boy was posting “wanted” signs

There was one nailed to a tree

And the face on it, was mine

 

It read,

 

“Have You Seen The Big Bad Wolf?

He Is Dangerous And Wanted Alive!

There’s A Thousand Dollar Reward…

But If He’s Dead, Multiply That By Five!”

 

“Wolf! Wolf!” The boy started to cry…

But he was pointing towards a rock

The town’s people ran to him, yelling…

“There’s a wolf after our flock!”

 

As the towns people gathered

They questioned the boy more

“Where is the big bad wolf?

What are you yelling for?”

 

When he pointed to the rock

All of the town’s people laughed

They said, “Keep wasting our time kid…

We’re gonna kick your crazy a*s!”

 

I ran back to the foxhole

Just to be safe, just in case…

If the boy had another “episode”

I would be staring death in the face!

 

By the next day, I was starving

I had to come up with a plan

Either I would get caught, or die from hunger

But either way, I was damned

 

I put on a white wool sweater

I looked just like a cloud, floating

I blended in with the herd perfectly

A true “wolf in sheep’s clothing”

 

Surrounded by delicious sheep

 I tried hard not to drool

The boy kept watching me

I don’t think he was fooled

 

“Everyone! There’s a wolf amongst the sheep!

A wolf! A wolf!  Everyone come and see!

Then the town’s people gathered, and asked

“Where is this wolf that you speak…?”

But this time, the boy pointed directly at me

 

“Shepherd boy, Shepherd boy

You’ve been around these sheep too long

You’re beginning to act just like them

With you…something is very wrong!”

 

They smacked the boy on his head

They said “Crazy boy, stop telling lies”

The town’s people weren’t too bright, either

For they actually fell for my disguise

 

All of the people left

They went about their day

But the boy kept a close watch

On me, his eyes didn’t stray

 

I cornered one of the sheep

Behind a tree, and I took a bite

But the beast let out a scream

And she put up a hell of a fight

 

She bucked and she kicked

And she ripped off my disguise

The noise alerted the boy

For he heard the sheep’s cries

 

He screamed,

 

“The sheep are turning into werewolves!

I can’t believe my eyes!

The government must have sent them!

Help! All the sheep are spies!!!”

 

He yelled and he yelled

But the town’s people didn’t come to help

They didn’t believe him this time

He said,

“I have to handle this by myself!”

 

“I have to protect the flock

Since no one else will save me

I know a wolf when I see one

I’m not that f*****g crazy!”

 

He pulled out a shotgun

Cocked it back and aimed

When the bullet hit my knee

I screamed out in pain

 

My body went into shock

I think I might have fainted

Because when I woke up

The cops were asking me for a statement

 

“So you’re ‘The Big Bad Wolf’?

It’s time for you to confess

You really don’t look so tough…

Now that you’re under arrest”

 

 

My lawyer didn’t have faith

 That we would win the trial

He told me “Just be prepared

 To walk the green mile”

 

For three hours I sat and listened

To a bunch of bologna

Fake tears from phonies

And false testimony’s

 

They called “Little Red” to the stand

 Looking as innocent as she possibly can

I thought the bible would burst into flames

As soon as it touched her hand

 

Everything she said was a lie

With the truth, she didn’t even bother

She even claimed to be pregnant

And said that I was the father!

 

The falsehoods

Of Little Red Riding Hood

Come to me as no surprise

I saw the devil in her

The first time we ever laid eyes

 

 

Each of the three little pigs

One by one,

All took the stand

As they all told lie after lie

I had a taste for sausage,

Bacon,

And ham

 

The judge was becoming annoyed

With the antics of the shepherd boy

He was twitching on the stand

He was nervous and paranoid

 

Granny walked through

The courtroom doors

Looking older than usual

Her hair was blue-ish gray

And her clothes were actually “suitable”

 

She walked to the stand

Back bent, limping, holding a cane

And before she sat down

She fell over, scowling in pain

 

I yelled,

“She’s faking it!

This courtroom has run amok!”

She shouted,

“Shut up you schmuck!

I fell, and I can’t get up!”

 

The bailiff helped her to her feet

 She dusted herself off, then took her seat

She quickly cut her eyes at me

Cleared her throat, and then began to speak

 

“He's a demon! He’s a monster!

 He broke into my home!

He trapped my granddaughter and I!

He tortured us, and wouldn’t leave us alone!"


 “I’m just an old woman!

Just a fragile little granny!

And this sicko stole my clothes!

He even wore my ‘good’ panties!”

 

“Your honor,

For some reason, with me

The wolf had a natural affinity

He tried to steal my heart

And he tried to take my virginity!”


"We could've been good together!

But this is my last goodbye!

Give him the electric chair!

The b*****d deserves to fry!"

 

The courtroom erupted

And granny began to cry

I stood to my feet, and shouted

…“These are all lies!!!”

 

“I’m not a bad guy!

…Even though I’ve done wrong

Everyone please forgive me!

…Can we all just get along?”


 The judge and jury were heartless

I was found guilty of all charges

The next time I’d see freedom

I’ll be carried out as a carcass

 

The tears streamed down my face

There was no use in pretending

I guess the story of “The Big Bad Wolf”

Wasn’t meant to have a happy ending


******************************************************************************

Sitting in my cell,

Facing my life sentence

Which I won’t survive

…There’s no doubt

I hear a whisper from the barred window,

“Psssss…hey sexy!

Its granny!

I’m here to bust you out!”

 

The End...

(Maybe)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© 2013 Sirius King


Author's Note

Sirius King
Part 1
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/serenusaymone/1173930/

Part 2
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/serenusaymone/1176127/

Part 3
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/serenusaymone/1177739/

My Review

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Featured Review

"The government must have sent them, all the sheep are spies". I literally LOL'd. And I'm at work! Haha! Part 1, 2, and 3 are brilliant separately and brilliant together. I will definitely be passing these along! I don't think I've ever read anything quite like this. The direction you went with this story was flippin fantastic my friend! :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sirius King

11 Years Ago

lol that's another favorite line of mines :-)

i'm really glad u took the time to read t.. read more



Reviews

all the way to the boy who cried wolf. this is genius. and btw...told you granny wanted to be eaten again!

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Sirius King

11 Years Ago

hahaha thanx quin!
This is literally the best story I've read in ages! It's got humor, an intriguing perspective, great language and its just overall fun! It ROCKED! Thank you so much for posting!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sirius King

11 Years Ago

wow thanx Tunder! that means a lot :-)
Government sponsored werewolf spies disguised as sheep. That's out and out genius. Fun Read Mr Raymone

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sirius King

11 Years Ago

i had a good laugh while writing that part lol

thanx BR!
Thank you for Granny. Granny is my hero. I like the complete tale. Poor wolf had a bad lawyer and everybody was against him. I enjoyed how you wrote the poem. Added other places and shows. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sirius King

11 Years Ago

Granny is my hero too lol


thank u Coyote!
Another masterpiece! This had me rolling over laughing. Wonder if there would be an epilogue lol. Enjoyed all three stories. Be looking forward to read more of yours in the future ^^

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sirius King

11 Years Ago

thanx William!

i'll be sure to return the favor :-)
HA! xD Are there anymore Big Bad Wolf tales? I certainly hope so. Great work, SR. Very imaginative! xoxo

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sirius King

11 Years Ago

I'm not sure if there are...maybe granny and thee wolf will live happily ever after...who knows? lol.. read more
KAOlmsted

11 Years Ago

Ha! Maybe ;-) My pleasure entirely...always.
Sirius King

11 Years Ago

;-)
Another fun installment and the story may not be over...

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sirius King

11 Years Ago

maybe not....

;-)

thanx ice!
dude awesome !!!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sirius King

11 Years Ago

thanx man!!!
Holy sheep! I'm totally laughing my arse off here, seriously, what the fook are you smoking? Hahaha, this is amazeballs! Love 'A hundred fluffy ‘happy meals’' not to mention the entire read!


Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

11 Years Ago

Any possibility of granny and the BBW becoming proud parents hahahah
Sirius King

11 Years Ago

that would be some wolf pack lol
Frieda P

11 Years Ago

I'm sure you could make it work! Lol ;-P
How did I know granny wasnt gonna let him rot?? Props for a very clever, hilarious three part story

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sirius King

11 Years Ago

Granny has her moments lol

thank u CC!

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Added on May 19, 2013
Last Updated on May 26, 2013
Tags: The Big Bad Wolf Part 3 (Crying

Author

Sirius King
Sirius King

Cleveland, OH



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