I really want to try something like this, I keep sitting down to write a poem for America, but I'm not American, so I just get what I see on t.v, I'm sure being there is a whole different kettle o' fish. You've got (in my opinion) a hip hop flavour, but I do see your work first and foremost as poetry. Good work sir
i think a poem from your "outside" point of view would be just as compelling...u may have a better p.. read morei think a poem from your "outside" point of view would be just as compelling...u may have a better picture of it than i do :-)
there are definitely hip hop elements to my poetry, I consider myself a songwriter and singer above all else, and i'm sure it shows thru all of my writing.
thanks Sam!
11 Years Ago
Your welcome. I'm gonna do some hip hop, it's gonna be some lame a*s English white boy rap, but here.. read moreYour welcome. I'm gonna do some hip hop, it's gonna be some lame a*s English white boy rap, but here we go.
F**k the nerd rap b***h's, one by one I'm pullin out raps stitches , handin out wolf tickets, cause when you get into the thick of it, I ain't timid, there's no limit to what I'd do to keep my fan in white pickets, smash ya legs like rickets, have you singing sad songs like crickets, ghost you in the dark like riddick-ulas flows smash ya abdominals, travel up through ya spine and out thru ya nose. Lol
11 Years Ago
ok ok ok i feel it lol...pretty damn good
i'm not much of a rapper,
im more of a.. read moreok ok ok i feel it lol...pretty damn good
i'm not much of a rapper,
im more of a soul singer
but u better believe
im crushin bones
if you ever point a finger
to battle me-you'll be
another lyrical casualty
then i'll sing your soul to sleep
at ur funeral, i'll even speak
kiss ur granny with a smile
and whisper somethin sweet
she'll never know
I'm the reason ur deceased
See, with this thing called words
i'm a f****n beast
and rippin other rappers hearts out
is how i f****n eat
...may u rest in peace
I Love Donny Hathaway...you rhymes are fire...I love the message in the end, bro...it's true, that you put your mind to it and practice and study, they may posses the same skill...a great ode to hip hop.
"My mind is an epidemic
A disease that destroys
The things that you
Were taught to mimic
And shows you
That the world around you
Is a cleverly designed gimmick"
Excellent Serenus
I really want to try something like this, I keep sitting down to write a poem for America, but I'm not American, so I just get what I see on t.v, I'm sure being there is a whole different kettle o' fish. You've got (in my opinion) a hip hop flavour, but I do see your work first and foremost as poetry. Good work sir
i think a poem from your "outside" point of view would be just as compelling...u may have a better p.. read morei think a poem from your "outside" point of view would be just as compelling...u may have a better picture of it than i do :-)
there are definitely hip hop elements to my poetry, I consider myself a songwriter and singer above all else, and i'm sure it shows thru all of my writing.
thanks Sam!
11 Years Ago
Your welcome. I'm gonna do some hip hop, it's gonna be some lame a*s English white boy rap, but here.. read moreYour welcome. I'm gonna do some hip hop, it's gonna be some lame a*s English white boy rap, but here we go.
F**k the nerd rap b***h's, one by one I'm pullin out raps stitches , handin out wolf tickets, cause when you get into the thick of it, I ain't timid, there's no limit to what I'd do to keep my fan in white pickets, smash ya legs like rickets, have you singing sad songs like crickets, ghost you in the dark like riddick-ulas flows smash ya abdominals, travel up through ya spine and out thru ya nose. Lol
11 Years Ago
ok ok ok i feel it lol...pretty damn good
i'm not much of a rapper,
im more of a.. read moreok ok ok i feel it lol...pretty damn good
i'm not much of a rapper,
im more of a soul singer
but u better believe
im crushin bones
if you ever point a finger
to battle me-you'll be
another lyrical casualty
then i'll sing your soul to sleep
at ur funeral, i'll even speak
kiss ur granny with a smile
and whisper somethin sweet
she'll never know
I'm the reason ur deceased
See, with this thing called words
i'm a f****n beast
and rippin other rappers hearts out
is how i f****n eat
...may u rest in peace
I love your intentions, your meaning, probably the most important thing for me in a piece, sounds sincere. It's very no bs, and you initially come off as sardonic and egotistical only to then go into a righteousness that's likeable and what's more is you inspire other to set right what's wrong with the world but what's more is how it flows, and rhymes and could easily be performed. I'm a sucker for good spoken word and this would be great on stage. Nice!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
thanx Cleide, i would love to perform this as a spoken word piece, im glad u stopped by!
SingerSongwriterSexSymbol ;-)
CreativeCreatureTrappedInACubicle...
in desperate need of an outlet
...Review My Work And I Will Return The Favor!!!....THANX :-)
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