The Other Side of the Mirror

A struggle with self acceptance and memory loss

What I see is the same the first day

And the second, third and fourth

But that fifth day

I’m caught

In a force of déjà vu

Have I looked at myself this way before?

Have I always had tight eyes

Have I always been pale and dull?

I’m angry

The mirror has lied

For how long have I been fooled?

I want to touch the mirror

But something stops me

No, forbids me

She’s untouchable

The edges against the crispness of the glass taunt me

‘This is a part you can never have’

It’s not fair, I am myself, I should know all I am

I should know why sometimes our eyes don’t match

Why sometimes it hurts more to look away than to look at her

Why it terrifies me to meet eyes with myself

The secrets she holds

Maybe too terrible for either of us

Separated halves

But we cant exist that way forever

My silhouette

The shadows I bring

The aura I expel

I wish sometimes we could trade places

Me on her side, her on mine

Maybe she would fair better here

Maybe I want someone else to take over

Just for a while

I raise my hand to the mirror

Her eyes caution me

But I have to

If I am anything but me

Then I’m nothing

My fingers brush the chilled glass

And I disappear