Chapter Eleven

A tsunami flashback and a not-so-pleasant Stroganoff dinner

March 11, 2010, early in the morning.

The more he kicked, the more he sank deeper into whirling water and mud that mercilessly suffocated him. He screamed, but his lungs filled with thick water, and desperate eyes peered back, mortified.

Robert.

David shot up, heart pounding.

Another nightmare. Another stupid nightmare!

David punched the mattress hard. Wait... at least David didn’t drench his bed covers this time. He was dry. Thank goodness.

But it was 2 a.m. Oh brother. David walked into the bathroom, splashed some cool water on his face and stared at his reflection; he still had the small cleft in his chin, the hazel eyes and the soft, handsome face, except his neatly-trimmed hair was a little darker, and he was a few years older. . David scanned the bathroom. Except for the bathtub and toilet (the only things he kept extremely clean), his bathroom was messy, with a crumbled toothpaste tube spilling contents onto the porcelain sink. Streaks appeared on the mirror and grime began to form around the sink’s edges. He’d really have to clean up. He put the cap on the toothpaste bottle and used toilet paper to wipe the toothpaste off the sink. After throwing the paper in the trash, he went back into the bedroom. David had a long day ahead with work and the family dinner, so he wanted to be rested.

As David crawled back into bed, he looked at his Bible on the nightstand and picked it up. Its solid brown hardcover felt smooth and heavy in his hands. He sifted through the gilt-edged pages which were somewhat wilted and stained with ink from his intense study of the Word long ago. But lately he hadn’t been in it, not for a few weeks.

This past Sunday, the teaching pastor talked staying close to God by reading his Word and praying to Him daily.He also spoke of people enduring lost jobs, foreclosures, cancer diagnosis, or an unwanted pregnancy. Keeping one’s faith in God, the pastor had said, was imperative..

Same old Christian lingo-crap, David thought.

David loved meeting with Father God, and he loved repentance�"the idea of stopping the wrongdoing and doing what was right.

Then why don’t you stop looking at those Web sites and getting off on them?

He didn’t want to think about that. When he first became a Christian and read about sexual immorality, David began to feel uncomfortable about engaging in casual sex. It occurred to him what he was doing was dreadfully wrong �" not only because it was disrespectful to women, but because it hurt God, like a father who mourned the bad choices a son makes. So he stopped sleeping around and visiting adult Web sites. He talked to Mark about it and ended up in Mark’s accountability group in 2006. He even got rid of his PC, only using his computer at work and in the library for a few months before he got a MacBook laptop. David wrote significantly about this repentence over sexual sin in Finding Faith.

David suddenly hurled the Bible at the floor in anguish. He grabbed his hair and ran his fingers through it with a sigh.

He just had to stay away from those sites, even if it took sheer determination. He could not let anyone know about this. How embarrassing it would be if the students at youth group, or his audiences, knew.

“You are such a strong man of God,” college students told him after he spoke to a Campus Crusade for Christ event in October. “A lot of students here struggle with sexual purity, but to hear how God helped you have victory, it gives us hope. You are a testimony.”

“I love your faith,” Sharon told him once. “I’d want to be that strong in my walk.”

“This is a praying man, a Godly man,” remarked one pastor of a church in San Leandro. David had been a guest speaker during a fundraising event for the homeless.

I want to go back. I want to go back to those early days in my faith.

Not a chance. Not anymore. ,

Everything he’d hoped in his prayers, in his walk, seemed to be going south. He believed in the beginning, but now, he just felt as if things were phony. Even the Christian terminology rang shallow, like a sales pitch with no real value or sensitivity to those suffering. His own testimony resembled a clear-cut public-relations promo for a Christian infomercial!

That’s not what he’d wanted! He wanted students to know there is a God who is real and who listens and cares. He wanted them to see there’s more to life than acting careless and irresponsible.

That was his Dad’s favorite phrase for David, “I can’t trust you. You’re irresponsible.” Dad was right. David had acted irresponsibly much of his high school and college years. And what did he show for it?

A DUI?

Some pregnancy scares that turned out false?

A continual comparison of his laziness to Nick’s success?

At that time David didn’t care about leaving such a legacy. He figured he’d had plenty of years to become good and moral, and he didn’t want to miss out on anything. True, David didn’t like the disappointed looks of his parents. He hated doing stupid things while drunk, like urinating off a balcony or waking up in some strange bed he’d never seen before. Sometimes he thought about things he’d done, and he vowed to not drink too much again, or act stupid again. Of course, those promises never lasted.

Listening to Nick’s constant rants about Jesus at that time hadn't helped either. Why did his brother’s life have to revolve around some crazy guy who claimed to be God 2000 years ago? He had pretty much thought Nick was a monk because he didn’t drink or have sex, but Nick still went to movies, and enjoyed laughing. And he was even-tempered. He didn’t even get ticked off even when Dad berated him for choosing to go to San Jose State instead of an Ivy League school. David sometimes felt like his life spun mercilessly out of control, with all the frat parties and the clubbing. But Nick could kick back and chill even with his ridiculous schedule. By the fall 2004, Nicolas had a bachelor’s degree, began a semester in San Jose State’s teacher credential program, and he started taking a seminary class at William Jessup University, all while working as a teacher’s assistant to help pay rent for a house he rented with Kevin and other classmates from college. David wished he could’ve been like Nick, although he would never tell him that. It was easier for David to live up to what he was defined as �" careless and irresponsible.

Until that day of the water.

The water.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

David could not escape the rising water.

He sprinted, kicking up rising water. Others ran, too, weighed down by their beach towels and items they collected from the seashore. They all ran.

But the water won.

It slammed into David fast amd hard from behind, flinging him over the sea wall violently and pushing him along the ground at frightening speed. Water roared in his ears in-between intermittent sounds of piercing screams and grinding metal, and he swallowed large gulps of mud and saltwater as it twirled him relentlessly. He nearly careened into a building and he struck flying lounge chairs and pieces of metal that also zipped by him in the water. He gasped for air, trying desperately to grab onto something, but water and debris shoved him swiftly -- like a fire hose pushing leaves down the sidewalk.

Grab something �" QUICK --

OOOF! He slammed into something hard and he yelled, sucking in sand and saltwater. He jerked up, spitting out water and grabbing onto a pole. He scurried up the pole as the water roared upward in its attempt to smother him.

Get higher!

He pulled himself more, throwing himself over onto roof of what must have been a bungalow or a bar. The rushing water shoved the roof, jerking David to his knees. The water engulfed everything, the swimming pool �"

--0h goodness, the children, the children who played in there earlier…Oh goodness no --

-- chairs, everything, filling the hotel courtyard like a kitchen sink and rapidly rising.

No. No. This can’t be happening.

The water rush over the roof, trying desperately to yank him off and David gripped it in terror.

Gotta get off! I’m gonna die. I can’t die.

“Help! Help!” he yelled.

The horrific roar of the water muffled his cries. He saw others around the hotel, locals and tourists, kneeling on the stairwells and balconies around the hotel, clinging onto the palm trees scattered around the courtyard, but they were to far away for him to swim, the water raged too fast. That's all he saw, raging water. Where was the beach? The road? The trees?

Where was all this water coming from?!!

“Help!”

To David’s horror, a floating car hurdled toward him. A What? Wait no….no �"

The water slammed the car into the roof, disintegrating it. David plunged into the thick, whirling brown water once more. The water slammed him into a tall palm tree, hard. Excruciating pain ripped through his ribcage.

David threw his arms and legs around the tree, clinching it in pain, as water and gunk rushed over him. He couldn't hear anything, or see anything, just the sensation of water and unseen sharp objects, hitting him, pulling him, cutting him, submerging him, threatening to suffocate him and bring him down �"

-CLIMB!

He pulled him self up the tree and pushed his head out of the water screaming. He pulled himself up the tree further but stopped as the pain in his ribs pierced him.

No, I’m not high enough �"

David clutched the palm tree, the water now lapping at his chest �" pulling him, yanking him.

Oh goodness. I’m not high enough.

“Help!” he shrieked, but rib pain cut off his cries and he coughed.

It’s closing in. It’s closing in. The ocean’s closing in and it’s going to swallow me.

I’m gonna die in this.

No - No.

The water suddenly began to pull back -- rapidly!

He gripped the tree, painfully pulling his body around to the back, terrified he'd slip. Now mud and water beat his back mercilessly as it receded.

It's gonna take me out to sea. I can't hold on -

“Help!” he cried through the pain. No one heard him. The water rumbled, teasing him maliciously. Terrified people to his left flailed in the water as it sucked them back out to sea. He was too far to grab them.

He really was going to die. The water wasn't through yet. Somehow he knew this. He heard more rumbling in the distance and looked up, not sure if �"

Oh no. A wave.

A big one �" its crest a good thirty feet, stretching across the horizon like a black monster -- rushing fast toward him -

I’m gonna die in this.

-closer -

I really won’t make this I won’t make this I won’t -

“Oh God �" Jesus!Jesus please help me!”

****************************

Wait a minute….stop! David shook the memory away. He'd been panting, and now he took in deep breaths to calm himself down.

Don’t think about this. You already have nightmares.

He needed to sleep.

Work would be brutal, but he had air in his lungs. David breathed in deeply once more.

He owed God everything. This terror had killed 230,000 people and David only walked away with a concussion, cracked ribs, a broken wrist and fingers, gashes and cuts, and an unforgettable experience of what the ocean could do.

He wouldn’t question why God allowed all of those people to die �" why He would allow such a horrible thing to occur and destroy families and take his uncle. He didn’t question because that would shake his confidence in God as a loving God.

No, he needed to stick to the commitment. God gave him a new lease on life, and he had to do whatever he could to help others, to help Stella, and mostly, to help Nick. Anything to make things better.

Just don’t remember.

*********

“Mom! I'm here,” David called out after letting himself into his parents’ house. It was Thursday evening and he was hungry. The aroma of spices beckoned him to the kitchen, where he found his mother at the stove with a cooking spoon. She wore an apron over her blue dress and she wore her wavy light brown hair in a lose ponyail.

“Hi Davie.” She kissed him on the cheek. He wondered why she still called him by his kid name sometimes? Still, it did make him feel homesick. “How was work?”

“Tiring. But I can’t complain. Where’s dad?”

“In the den. Taste.” ” She dipped the spoon in the saucepan. “Beef Stroganoff with a kick. “

David tasted it. “Delicious. What’s in it?”

“I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”

“Very funny,” he chuckled. He walked to the fridge, opened it, and pulled out some mini carrots. . “This will hold me in the mean time.”

“Dinner’s about ready soon.”.

“I’m a man. I need to eat,” he said in-between crunching carrots. “Need help, Mom?”

“No, I’m almost done. Relax.”

“You think Nick’s coming?” Now he pulled some vegetable tortilla chips out of the cupboard and ate a few. .

“I’m hopeful.”

“Did he call?”

“Briefly, but not long enough,” she sighed. She dumped some lettuce into a salad bowl and began grating cheese. “Dan! Dinner's almost ready!” !”

Dad appeared in the kitchen.

“It smells wonderful, honey,” he told her before he turned and saw David standing there. “Hi, David.”

“Hi, Dad.”

“How’s work?”

“Work is good.”

Dad nodded and scratched the bald part of his head. . Over the years Dad had begun go bald, although he still maintained a rugged, handsome look, and he gained a little bit of a stomach. He was broad shouldered, and stood tall compared to Mom, who was only topped 5’4. Now Dad put his head down and exited the kitchen, a slight limp in his left leg.

Mom noticed. “His leg's acting up again.” She now had added tomatoes, sliced carrots, raisons and cucumbers to the salad. “How's your apartment.”

“It’s all good.” .”

“Maybe I’ll come over.”

“You come over, you’ll start to clean,” he chuckled.

“Well, it’s dirty. It looks like a bachelor’s pad in there.”

“I am a bachelor,” he grinned raising up his arms in a playful protest.

“That’s no excuse,” she responded, laughing. “What’re you gonna’ do if you want to invite a woman over?”

“I'm going to clean up, of course!” he laughed.

David had to admit, he was closer to mom than he was to his father.

“How the motivationl speaking?”

“I have some others lined up in the next couple of weeks.”

Mom grinned at him. “You’re excellent, especially when you talk of how your life completely turned around.”

David nodded. “Do you think it has?”

“I do. But honestly, I’ve always been proud of you and your brother. You’re a successful speaker, and author.”

“Well, not successful. It’s not a bestseller.”

“No, but you accomplished a lot.”

“What does Dad say?”

“I'm sure he's proud.”

“He wasn't thrilled when I published the book.”

“Well , maybe he just wanted you to mention Robert more than you did, although I think you did wonderful, dedicating the book to him.”

“Have you talked to Dad any more about trying to help Nicolas?” David asked now, forcing himself to change to subject.

“I have, but he hasn't given me an another either way,” she paused. “Let’s not say anything if Nick shows up.”

David shrugged and popped another veggie chip in his mouth just as he heard Nick’s voice.

Mom picked up the salad and asked David to grab the pot of beef stroganoff. After putting the chips back in the cupboard, he grabbed the saucepan and followed after her, walking through the kitchen and into the dining room. He sat down the food and glanced up at Nick.

Nick wore an oversized jacket and baggy jeans that accentuated his gaunt appearance. He still kept the jacket on as he sat down at the table.

David walked over and sat down next to him. Nick tapped his leg as he grabbed a bowl of buns, which mom just placed on the table.

“Glad you made it, brother, “ David said, patting him on the shoulder.

“Told you I’d come,” Nick muttered. He leaned forward. “Nothing like home-cooking, huh?”

David smelled alcohol on Nick’s breath.

Mom brought in some cranberry juice, ice tea, and lemon cake for desert. Dan had already sat in the chair opposite David. Now she sat down as well.

“Let’s say grace, “ David urged.

“Let’s skip grace,” Nick blurted out.

“I second that,” Dad said. He immediately began helping himself to the stroganoff.

“I’ll say grace with you, Dave,” Mom said.. She bowed her head as David quickly gave the Lord thanks.

Dad sighed. Nick got up from the table and headed toward the bathroom. His mother asked him where he was going.

“Be right back.” he said hastily before disappearing around the corner.

“He’s all twitchy,” Claudia said. “Is he OK?”

“He’s drinking again. I could smell it.”

“Let’s just not say anything right now. I’ll talk to him before he leaves,” Claudia whispered.

Nick came back and flopped into the chair. He tapped his foot as he scooped out some more stroganoff. “Very good Mom, always very good.”

“You barely touched what you have there,” she pointed out.

“But you are a good cook, always were.” He took a bite to prove it. Tap-tap-tap. David could feel the floor vibrate from Nick’s foot-tapping.

“Thank you,” she replied hesitantly.

“What’s up, Dad?’ Nick rocked back and forth. Tap-tap-tap. ‘How’s the job?”

“It’s fine,” Dan said. “You still working at that restaurant?”

“No, it wasn’t working out. I’m at the video store.” Nick took another bite of stroganoff. Tap-tap-tap. “But I got it together, you know?”

He poured some juice and drank, took a few more bites, then placed his napkin on his plate. “That was good. Thank you.”

Mom perked up. “Nicolas, are you serious? That’s all you’re eating?”

“I’ll take some home.”

“Maybe you’re too full cause of all that crap you drank,” Dad blurted out.

Nick turned to him.

“We know you’re drinking. We can all smell it on you. And you look high. You on drugs?”

“Dan, stop!” Mom pleaded.

“Great, and you wonder why I don’t come to these stupid dinners. All I’ll get is an inquisition.” Nick snarled as he jumped up out of his chair. When he did, he stumbled, grabbing the chair for support. “I’m leaving.”

David got up now. “Nick, calm down, OK?”

“I’m going back home, and I think I’ll leave the stroganoff here, thank you.” Nick said. He pushed past David and headed for the door. David came up to him and jabbed him in the shoulder. Nick whirled around.

“What the h-“ he began.

“You’re supposed to be here sober!” David hissed at him, frustrated. “Can you just show up somewhere sober, for once?”

“Yeah, exactly,” Dad chimed in.

Nick turned to him, his eyes furious….and dilated.

“What are you on, man?”

“Get out of my face, man,” Nick snapped. Mom and Dad got up now and walked over.

“Wait a �"“ David began.

Nick shoved him and David shoved back. Nick began to take a swing at him but David grabbed his arm and twisted it around his back, before Nick yanked himself free and jumped back. Dad grabbed David and Mom stood between David and Nick.

“Knock it off!” she snapped at the two of them.

David wiggled out of Dad’s grasp, his fist clinched, and Nick just laughed.

“I'm not your precious boy anymore Mom,” he muttered. “If I want to drink, I can drink.”

“And you can stop any time, don’t give me that, how long have we been listening to that,” Dad retorted. “You becoming a loser Nick, and you’re irresponsible, no better than David was �"“

“What?! Thanks for bringing me into this Dad.” David snapped at his father.

“Hey, don’t take that tone with me. Maybe if you hadn’t screwed up Nick wouldn't have picked up this stupid dri�"“

“Enough!” Mom said. She looked at Dad and David. “Just stop.”

“Real freakin’ nice, Dad! Real nice!” David flung opened the door angrily just as Mom grabbed his arm.

“David, wait! Nick �"“

“Yeah, this is our family, one big happy family!” Nick laughed. He went through the door. “One big happy family!” he called out loudly before storming down the street.

Mom sighed and looked over at Dad. “Dan, that was low what you said.”

“Save it, Mom,” David snapped, directing his anger toward his father.. “Mom, I’m sorry the dinner was ruined, you did a beautiful job, but I gotta go.”

Author's Note

This has a lit bit more action in it, which includes a flashback.