Chapter Eight

David changes his mind about helping Stella...for a moment

Sunday, Feb. 21, 2010

Familiar songs flooded the sanctuary. David raised his hands and clapped his hands, joining the other two thousand worshipers enjoying the service. Then the pastor asked that people would take a moment to pray. One of the elders began to pray, asking God to search the hearts of everyone, and to help them surrender any sins to the Lord.

Instantly David thought about the Web sites. Guilt pierced him like a knife. He should have never looked at those sites. What would God think? Better yet, what about the teens in youth group, or the people he spoke to?

David tucked his head into his chest, the guilt piercing his chest further. He had to try harder - do what he could to stop looking at those sites.

He would even resist those crazy-angry thoughts he’d had toward God for punishing him. He just couldn't help Stella, that's all. True, it looked like she wanted to meet him Wednesday, but still, it might be easier if she spoke with someone else - someone trained in psychology and trauma. Mark would understand that. David decided to speak with Mark about it after church. He caught up with Mark outside the sanctuary.

“Hey, I missed you at last week’s accountability group,” Mark said.

“Sorry about that.”

“So, how was the Valentine’s fundraiser?”

“Awesome. They e-mailed me and told me they raised eight thousand dollars.”

“Nice,” Mark smiled.

“How’s it going with Stella?”

“That’s what I wanted to speak with you about. Maybe it would be good if she talked to one of the counselors at her church.”

Mark nodded. “Counselors help, but it’d still be cool if you could talk to her about your experience �" if only to relate.”

David shifted his feet. “Yeah, but she’s really troubled, and I think that it might be more helpful if someone else talked to her, not me.”

Mark nodded and studied him for a moment.

“Interesting.”

“Why?”

“It’s not like you to turn down something.”

“I'm just saying professional help may be the better route for her.”

“David, you’re the motivational speaker here. On the stage, you call yourself someone who identifyies with others and helps them.”

“I’m not trained in this. I'm not trained to handle trauma.”

“But you lived through trauma, and this isn’t about getting professional help. It’s about Christians coming alongside to help other Christians.”

David sighed and shifted his eyes left and shook his head, slightly frustrated. “What’s wrong with her going to a counselor?”

“Right now she just needs a friend, not a psychologist.” Mark said

“Look, she�"she’s got a bad attitude.”

Mark laughed. “And you don't? Or me? Or half the kids in here, sometimes?”

David rubbed his head with his right hand.

“Now, what would Jesus do?”

“Oh come on man,” David groaned. But Mark didn’t budge. “Alright. You’re right. Respond to her with love. Talk to her even if she acts hateful.”

“The definition of love �" comforting those even as they hate on you.”

David pushed down the urge to chuckle. “Hey, shouldn’t she have a woman to talk to about this, and not someone of the opposite sex?’”

“Maybe. But this isn’t about the opposite sex. It’s about the fact that you two have gone through tragedies that both of you need to deal with.” David shook his head in frustration and Mark continued. “I bet she reminds you of Nick. Maybe she’s reminding you of some of your issues.”

“No, she’s not.”

“Then, I don’t see why you don’t help then. This isn’t in your comfort zone? Fine, but faith isn’t about living in your comfort zone.”

“Gee thanks,” David muttered angrily.

“What’s with the attitude?”

“Nothing, man.” He paused. “She can be a challenge.”

“Good, then take on the challenge.” Mark admonished.

David looked down. He didn’t know what to think now.

“Alright, I’m supposed to meet with her this week.”

“Good,” Mark smiled.

“You owe me.”

“Alright,” Mark chuckled.

David walked back to his car, feeling quite irritated.

Did he really have to respond to his best friend like that?

On the other hand, why did Mark bring up Nick?

Because Mark knew the old Nick �" the Nick who pulled pranks and made you smile �" before the alcohol took over.

He still sat in the car, now warm, despite the chilly air outside.

It didn’t have to be this way, he thought. If only things had been different that day.

The bungee jump site in Kathu was a good fifteen minute drive inland - away from the beach. Training for bungee jumping and each jump would have taken a couple of hours altogether, Nick had told David when they first made the arrangements. Perhaps there had also been sightseeing in and around the area. What if they had ended up in Kathu on that day after all?

What if?

As waves demolished Patong, Robert and Janet would have been enjoying their first bungee jump ever. He could visualize Robert screaming with excitement as he fell, the wind whizzing past his ears before the bungee cord whipped him up and swung him to and fro. Maybe Janet would’ve released high-pitched girly shrills as she jumped. Nick would have resembled Steven Spielberg, his camcorder fastidiously recording as each person took the daredevil plunge. They would have only heard about what happened a few hours later, after finishing their bungee jumps and enjoying a light lunch. He imagined how it may have played out:

“We have bad news,” the instructor would say. David could see Robert and Janet standing in front of the instructor, holding hands, the harnesses still strapped around their legs.

“What is it?” he would ask.

“Huge ocean waves just destroyed the beaches up and down the coast. Many people died, “ the instructor would say. “You guys are lucky you’re weren’t there.”

No such luck. This never happened. I know. I know. I wish it had, but it didn’t.

He closed his eyes.

But, if I do help Stella, maybe You’ll finally help Nick, right? If You see that I’m trying, You’ll help him, right?