Chapter Six

It doesn't hurt to reach out to Stella again.

February 14, 2010

David sat up, eyes wide, taking in deep breaths rapidly.

Breathe....breathe...don't let it suffocate you. He scanned the darkness frantically. No, he wasn't in water, but in his bedroom, even though he felt wet and sticky. Breathe....breathe.

For a moment he closed his eyes. When he re-opened them he could make out the shadows of his bedroom. Switching on the lamp light next to his bed, David got up and started pacing.

Three-thirty in the morning. Why did these happen so early in the morning?

He walked into the living room and opened his laptop, which sat charging on the coffee table. He felt a little calmer now, which was good, because he still had the speech to work on. He only had to change a few words and ensure his speech maintained the same message of hope.

He first began telling people about making the right choices at a Campus Crusade student Bible study in 2006, and when students came up and thanked him, he felt elated. It was like God had showed him what to do. When he’d been at the credit union for a while, he had the idea of writing the book and had it self-published at the end of 2008. When his speaking engagements picked up in 2009, David hired Leon, the Web designer, to set up his Web site, where he advertised his speaking engagements and his book. His efforts landed David in churches as far north as Eureka and as far south as San Diego.

He knew how to connect with the youth. It just came naturally. It was up to him to help them see the right way before they did something they regretted. He did not want them doing something that would later haunt them for life through sweat-drenching nightmares.

David switched on the computer and opened up the document. He changed a few words, shortened a few sentences, ,and he put in one final summary paragraph. There. He could relax.

No he couldn’t.

David sighed and clasped his hands together. He hated those nightmares, how he saw Robert’s eyes, how he heard the screams, felt �"

“Stop,” he said aloud and opened up the Internet window.

Should he look?

The Web sites. He did this the other night and he felt guilty afterward. How could he tell students about the right choice and he’s looking at those Web sites?

I'm sorry, Lord, I….

No he won’t talk to Father God about this. He couldn't tell anyone else about this.

Am I losing my faith?

Did I ever even have it?

Never mind. A Latino woman in a scantily clad outfit posed before him, seductively. He loved the image of women. He didn’t care what color they were, or what shape they had. If they had nice curves in all the right places, it was enough to get him excited.

David shut the laptop down, quickly. He had to get to bed.

***********************************************************************

“So you’re saying he used all of it?” David asked.

“I believe he did.”

David sat on the couch with the TV on for background noise and the laptop on his lap. He had been talking with friends on Facebook when Mom called. He figured that, by the tone of her voice, Dad had forgotten to remind her of how special she was for Valentine’s Day. But instead, she told him that Nick just blew the three hundred dollars she had given him on alcohol.

“How do you go through three hundred dollars like that?” she asked.

“I don't know. What does Dad say?”

“He just cussed and walked away. Not dealing with it, as usual...Dad just walked in the door.

Wanna talk to him?”

“No.”

“David…”

“I’ll talk to him later.”

She decided to change the subject. “Janet’s driving down from Antioch. We’re trying a new Pilates class.”

“Pilates? Really?” David hopped back on Facebook. “Want me to tell her you said hi?”

“You’re on Facebook now?”

“Yeah. She’s on, too.”

“Tell her the class starts at 3:30 on Tuesday.”

David typed an instant message to Janet.

Janet Phillips-Cole: Hi David! How was the speech at the Valentine’s dinner? Tell Claudia I’m ready to contort my body.

David chuckled and related the message to his mother.

“She’s too much! She knows Pilates isn’t really like that. But we want to get into good shape like you.”

David smiled. He had always been more on the athletic side and Mom took pride in that. Dad didn’t.

He typed back: Mom can’t wait for class. Valentine’s dinner was good. It could have been better, if they hadn’t pried him about the tsunami. But he forgot all that when Janet asked if he wanted to join them.

“She says I should join you two.”

“You should.”

“Pilates isn’t a man’s sport,” he joked, and typed the same thing back to Janet, who responded with LOL.

“Well, we’ll see. ” Mom laughed. Then she grew quiet. “He’s losing it, Davie.”

He could hear the catch in her throat as he surfed through other messages on his Facebook wall.

“You still pulling him out of bars?” she ask then.

“Yeah, just the other week.” David put the laptop on the coffee table. “You know he’s disconnected his number again?”

“Yeah, and he’s moved into a dump of a place. He got evicted from the last one.”

“Oh, great.”

“I know....Uh, I’m gonna get going. Your father has a late Valentine’s gift for me.”

He better do something nice for you, David thought. “OK, I’ll talk to you later.”

They hung up and David returned to Facebook.

Janet, did you celebrate Valentine’s Day? he typed.

I got all the romance I needed through the wonderful writings of Danielle Steel, Janet typed back, followed by a smiley face. She had a closer relationship with him and Mom these last few years since the tsunami. Janet had suffered the most, but she had resumed her work as a freelance photographer a year ago and now lived in Antioch with relatives.

What about you, David, no Valentine to be with?

No. My future Valentine awaits, he typed back.

Is Nick doing better, or is it the same? Janet typed.

The same, he responded back.

I miss talking to him. He doesn’t even speak to me.

I know, and I hate that he’s like that, David typed. Please don’t let him get to you. I’m sure he doesn’t mean anything by it.

Janet eventually switched to small talk about a movie she saw, and after a couple of minutes she signed off. David continued searching his wall for other comments made by his friends or the teens from youth ministry.

And then he thought of Stella. Mark said she was on Facebook. He typed in her name. Her page was set to private, but it revealed two photos of her and the location where she lived. One of the photos showed her sitting on top of a brick wall, with bushes and bright green shrubbery in the background. She wore blue Capri pants with a white top. Her long hair spilled down her back and her eyes sparkled.

David requested that he’d be her friend. It didn't hurt to try reaching out to her again.

Author's Note

Again, any input you offer will be of a help.