Chapter One (the beginning)

First chapter portrays the protagonist just before his initial survival. Is a set up for the remaining chapters, which portray him in 2010 as a motivational speaker.

December 25, 2004

David Cole felt immortal.

He knew that one day he would die - one day - but certainly not today.

No way.

How could he die in this glorious paradise? He stood on the beach - the warm, white sand underneath his feet. The tropical air, with its beautiful sun, beat against his back, while the sounds of ocean waves slapped against the shoreline to his left. Paradise. He laughed as Nicolas, his twenty-three-year-old brother, aimed the camcorder to capture their uncle attempting lopsided cartwheels through the water.

David had to laugh. “Bad! So bad, Robert!”

“You were obviously not in the Olympics,” Nick hollered.

“Very funny!” Robert chuckled. He dashed right up behind Janet, yanking her curly brown ponytail.

“Hey!” she yelled, twisting around and giving her husband a playful shove. Robert laughed and began tickling her in the ribs. They chased each other around playfully like 10-year-olds instead of a married couple in their 40s.

“Behave, you two!” David jogged over to them with Nick in tow. “Behave.”

“You should talk,” Robert eyed him evilly before splashing seawater into David's face.

David jerked back and laughed. “Nice one.” He scooped up some water and threw it at Robert, who threw his hands up playfully.

Nick laughed and focused the camera on them. “You’re acting like children!”

“It’s Christmas!” Robert protested. “You’re suppose to act like a child.”

“If you don’t behave, you won’t get your surprise tomorrow!” Nick said.

“Yeah, so where are we going?”

David patted Robert on the back. “You’ll see.”

“Come on, I know you and Nicolas are planning something.”

“I can tell you, but then I’d have to kill ya,” David warned. He winked at Nick, who grinned and adjusted the camera.

“And we’re all going?” Robert asked. “This is a family thing.”

“Of course.”

David grinned once more. Ah, paradise. Vacationing in paradise for Christmas. He took it in. Tall, angular palm trees reached to the sky. Lush vegetation, including bright green ferns and plumeria flowers, decorated the hotels and lined the boulevard. White beaches blanketed the shore. Rolling hills, covered in luscious green trees, acted as a scenic backdrop. Some people ran by, dressed in tennis shoes, and swimsuits. Rolls of bright white beach chairs and umbrellas lined themselves up neatly along the beach. Beautiful Asian women walked by in pairs, chatting excitedly as their silky long hair blew in the wind. Several stray dogs splashed through the water. Families waded in the translucent blue ocean while white, long, canoe-like sundries dotted the ocean horizon in the distance. Paradise. Smaller islands floated on the blue ocean horizon, giving the entire scene a heavenly feel. And behind him locals and tourists lived it up among the cabana bars and restaurants. He could even hear Christmas music traveling through the air from them. This could be Malibu or San Diego. But this was Patong Beach in Phuket, Thailand.

Paradise. His first trip overseas. Yes.

“Janet and I usually stay in the city, though we’ve come here for scuba diving before,” Robert said. He and Janet had been living in Bangkok as expatriates for two years. “I knew you would enjoy it.”

David chuckled to himself as he pictured Robert and Janet enjoying tomorrow's surprise Christmas gift of bungee jumping. Oh they-in for it!

Nick, handing the camcorder to Janet, came up to David’s side. When Janet and Robert moved away from them, the brothers faced he ocean.

“We're on,” he muttered into David’s shoulder. The bungee jump was Nick’s idea. He found out about it on a Thailand tourist pamphlet and called them up two nights before. “We’re gonna make them scream.”

“That’s mean, bro.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“You sure they can handle it?”

“What about you, little brother? Can you?” Nick stuck out his chest, as if challenging him.

“Piece of cake.”

“We’ll see.” Nick broke into a wide grin as the tide washed up onto their feet.

“Just cause you did it once in Chiapas, Mr. Missionary, doesn’t mean I can’t,” David teased.

“What's going on?” Janet called over.

“Nothing!” Nick called back. To David he whispered. “OK, we’re suppose to be at the jumping site at 9:30 a.m.” he instructued. “We're leaving the hotel no later than 9 a.m., sharp, or we'll lose our spots.” He paused with seriousness.

“Alright.”

“If you're not there, we can't go.”

“I'll be there.”

“You better be.”

David took in a breath angrily. “Hold up �" “

“I mean it man. Don't get all drunk and then end up not showing up - “

“Alright man, knock it off!”

“Not too loud.” Nick whispered, reaching behind David's back.

“Alright I--” Nick grabbed David’s swimming trunks, yanking them up into a serious wedgie. David pushed his brother playfully. “Hey!” he laughed, adjusting his shorts just as a young woman walked by. Mmmm-hmmm - a beautiful Asian woman with a tiny blue bikini and a beautiful figure to match. David began stepping backward, eyeing her backside.

OOOF! He stumbled backward over an object, flopping in the water. He looked down to see a ten-year-old girl with long dark hair sitting in the water, rubbing her bottom.

“I’m sorry, are you hurt?” David asked, slightly alarmed. He reached out his hand and she grabbed it to hoist herself up. She looked more embarrassed than hurt, masking it with a smile.

“Ich, bin okay. Sorry,” she giggled in German. Her mother came running up.

“I’m sorry,” David told her loudly over the waves. “I ran into your daughter by mistake.”

“She speaks German. She’s not deaf,” Janet laughed, coming up to David now.

“It’s fine,” the mother laughed with a deep accent. She shook David’s hand and smiled. Janet wished her “Merry Christmas.” Mother and daughter continued jogging down the beach while the 10-year-old girl stole one more look at David and Janet and waved.

“Hey love, let’s get a drink.” Robert called out as he jogged over with the camera.

“I’ll get margaritas,” Janet volunteered. She gave Robert a kiss on the cheek. “Behave.” Robert just chuckled and patted Nick and David on their backs as Janet darted up the beach.

Robert scanned the scenic view around him. “Paradise.”

“Agreed.”

“Janet and I speak good Thai now.”

“I can barely say ‘hello.’ Good thing you knew the difference between ordering duck eggs and ant eggs, or I would have left my apatite in the States.”

“You pick it up after you’ve been around for a while,” Robert explained.

The three men walked up the beach and across the street where mopeds, tuk-tuks, or three-wheeled taxis, and other cars mingled with walking pedestrians. Most tourists were European and Australian, although there were some Americans. As the men approached the cabana bar, Janet returned with their drinks and handed everyone their margaritas. David sipped his.

“This is virgin,” he observed. “I think I have Nick’s by mistake.”

“Actually I made both of yours virgin,” Janet replied. She and Robert looked at David intently.

David sighed, exasperated. “Great.” he grumbled.

“Remember the DUI?” Robert reminded him, but he quickly patted David on the shoulder. “You gotta make better choices, Dave. For you.”

“Exactly,” Nick chimed in, swirling his glass. “being a drunk’s sinful behavior anyway…” he began, but trailed off.

David glared at him.

“Dave, look, you’re smart, and I’m very proud of you,” Robert assured him. “But you're an adult. You gotta think and take more responsibility, alright?”

David shook his head angrily.

“Hey, it's Christmas. Just enjoy yourself. You guys are going out tonight, right? I hear there’s dancing.”

“Yeah,” Nick joined in. “You can have a glass a wine during dinner.”

David slammed his glass down and glared at him. “I thought drinking any alcohol was a deadly sin.”

“No. Being a drunk is.”

“Hey-” Janet held up her hand. “Just stop, OK? Let's get a table and grab a bite.”

Nick nodded and turned back to David. “Hey man, forgive me for that.” He held out his fist and David tapped it with his own.

That’s when David spotted a young blond woman at the bar several feet away. She had beautiful blond hair and a white summer dress that fit her hourglass figure and revealed her sexy back. When she turned and spotted David looking at her, she grinned.

He grinned back. She flashed another smile, tossing her hair back.

“Hold on, I see someone over there,” he muttered.

Robert noticed her and shook his head. “Boy, you are something else.”

But David didn’t hear him. He had to talk to her.

Yeah, he felt immortal.

*******************************

He woke up twisted up in white bed sheets in a room flooded with sunlight. A woman's bra lay at his side. Oh yeah, Marie - the hot beauty in the white summer dress. David smiled at the memory and leaned on his elbow. She had invited him back to her hotel room last night. Where was she anyway? He rubbed his head. Slight headache, but he still felt great.

David sat up, untangled himself from the sheets, stretched, and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Marie’s clothes, and his, were strewn on the floor, along with some empty bottles of Singha beer. Wow, they really did have a crazy night. The Kappa Phi brothers would love this! David grinned again and looked down at his pants. His wallet, cell phone and passport were still in the pocket. Good. Now he reached for his watch on the nightstand.

He looked at the time and his jaw dropped.

What?!!!

It couldn't be that late in the morning!

The bungee jump!

David cursed and jumped up quickly.

NO, he read the time wrong. It couldn't be ten! That would mean….

He looked again.

9:46 a.m.

Oh no!

No!

David grabbed his phone quickly, dialing Nick’s phone number.

Oh no, no, no!

It went to voice mail immediately. Nick had his phone shut off.

Wait. He had a voicemail. Had Nick tried to call him? He listened to the voice mail as he began pulling on his pants rapidly.

No, not Nick, Robert:

“Where are you? We can’t go cause' you're not here, at least let us know if you’re alright...” David hung his head now. “I’m disappointed here. You’re an adult, but you’re being irresponsible. Look, forget about it, just call us. I love you, OK?”

Great. He rubbed his head in frustration. Just great.

“Stupid,” David grumbled, scanning the room. He had to get back to their hotel - a block down and another block or two away from the beach. David buttoned his pants and threw on his shirt while he dialed Nick’s phone. It went to voicemail again. “Nick, I’m sorry. Please give me a call OK? I’m serious, I am so sorry about this.”

David hung up and cursed, wondering why Nick hadn't called him at all.

He must still be ticked off about last night.

Marie, the beauty from Sweden, had met David and Nick at the dancing pub after the Christmas dinner. Nick drank soda and played cards with some locals and other tourists. David and Marie danced and downed kamikaze shots with some other pub patrons. By 2:00 a.m., Marie suggested that David check out her hotel room. Feeling buzzed, he started to go with her, but Nick stopped them at the exit.

“Dude, where you goin'?”

“Hold on, bro, I'll be back.” David chuckled. Marie excused herself to get her purse. Nick turned to him sternly.

“Dude, you said you wouldn't mess this up.”

David laughed sarcastically. “There you go, acting all holier-than-thou!”

“You’re drunk, man!” Nick hissed, glancing around. “You said you'd be there!”

“And I will, man! Alright?” David informed him coldly. Some pub patrons looked their way. “I’m a big boy and I can take care of myself.”

Nick had glared at him. “You’re going to hook up with her.”

“Oh come on! So what?”

Nick sighed, shaking his head. “You know it’s not right. God doesn’t �" “

“That’s the problem with you, man!” David shouted. “You’re always preachin’ at me!”

“You’re being irresponsible, always thinking about yourself!” Nick yelled.

“Back off, man! Stop acting like Dad!” David snapped back.

“I'm sick of you doin' this, man!” Nick gritted, grabbing David's arm in frustration.

David shoved Nick hard. Nick stumbled off the curb, regaining his balance while bar patrons laughed.

“Grow up, man!” Nick holered. More heads turned.

“And be like you, not getting any? Go read your Bible!” David roared. More people laughed and Nick just tightened his lip.

“You better not screw it up tomorrow! I'm warning ya!” He turned and stormed back toward the hotel.

David remembered thinking that he shouldn't have said that, but then Marie returned and took him to her hotel, a resort by the beach, where they continued to drink and caress.

“Oh man, stupid!” He stuffed his phone and belongings in his pants pocket, and jammed his feet into his shoes. David darted into Marie’s bathroom, rinsed his mouth, splashed water on his face, and glimpsed at himself in the mirror. Not bad for a 21-year-old, he thought momentarily. He had hazel eyes, dark-brown cropped hair that spiked up slightly in the front, a narrow face, a soft chin with a very slight cleft, broad shoulders, muscular arms, a tanned torso and sex appeal. He smiled…

You’re being irresponsible.

---and his shoulders dropped.

Nicolas wanted to do something nice for Uncle Robert and Aunt Janet who, along with David and Nick’s parents, had paid for the brothers to go on this trip. David and Nick had already enjoyed several days in Bangkok, dining with Robert, Janet and their expat friends. Janet and Robert took them around the city and showed them the different temples and historical landmarks. The brothers had used their own money to pay for the bungee jumps.

David turned away from the mirror and quickly left the hotel room.

Although he heard the splashing of water and giggling of children from the resort swimming pool to his left, he couldn’t hear the ocean waves. He had clearly heard them crashing on the beach from her room last night. Well, never mind. He had to make it up to them. Maybe he could talk to the bungee instructor. David jogged past the swimming pool and cabana bars, nestled in between the tall palm trees in the courtyard of the six-story resort. I just can’t measure up to Nick’s perfectly good behavior. And God? I can’t even relate to God-�"

David stopped abruptly, surprised.

People around him stopped too, their eyes locked on the beach. The road resembled a parking lot with drivers leaning against their tuk-tuks, puzzled by the sight. David walked onto the beach for a closer look.

What was this?

He stood on the white stand of the shoreline with the other stunned onlookers. Over to his right, Marie stood, waving at him and saying, “Look the water!”

“What water?” David asked her.

There was no water.

Was he imagining this? No. There really was no water.

The entire beach had been drained like a tub.

White boats lay abandoned on their sides. The dried-up beach revealed dark blue puddles of water on the sea floor, along with coral drying in the sun. Fish flopped on the sand, and local residents and tourists, even children, picked them up excitedly. The water appeared as a small, grayish-white, thin line in the distance. It hovered, as if held back by something.

Something’s not right.

David dialed Nick’s number again. He got the voicemail. “Bro, the water’s totally trippin’ down here! You gotta see this!” He hung up and gazed in wonder �" and apprehension.

Something’s not right.

What about the rest of the water in the distance? It looked like a large heap that was getting….closer…..

And that's when he felt rumbling underneath his feet.

In his mind, he heard the word, run, but he remained transfixed and the phone slipped from his hand.

The water began rushing in, at his feet, pulling him hard and rising quickly, and the ugly grayish-white, almost black heap of water, rumbled toward them �" fast. Wait. That’s not �"

“Run, David!” Marie shrieked in terror. “Run!”

Author's Note

Please let me know what you think of the characters, if more should be added to them, the flow of the story, and whether more should be added to bring out the dynamics of the character's relationship with his brother. Also, let me know if the timing of the event sounds accurate (i.e, such as the time).

Reviews

[Horizon K.]

Interesting start, though I gave to say quite long. I know you are trying to set up the scenery and dynamics so we know what's at stake here, but I would say its a bit wordy... Then again I'm minimalist so....
As for the formatting the double spacing does make it harder to read, I suggest single spacing with a break between each paragraph.
So the story itself... Great character dynamics, David seems like a flawed selfish guy with so there's a lot to work with for his growth over the story. And the ending is a total hook and brings back in that first sentence about not dying... And if he had woken up on time they would not be at the beach so I'm sure he will be facing guilt over the losses he is now going to have...

[Joanna Johnson]

THanks for the input! What's funny is that I actually cut out some of the beginning already. I would have liked this to be a prologue, but I"m not sure where I can cut it and still carry the same weight. I may just trim a little more. Thank you.

[MJReed]

the one thing I did notice, though, is that the font changes size many times.
I'd address that, and possibly check the formating on a few of the paragraphs (indentations and such.)

[MJReed]

nice. The build up to the Tsunami....very well done.
I look forward to reading more of this.

-MJR

[Joanna Johnson]

thanks MJR! I posted the second chapter - more to come

[MJReed]

No problem. It was very easy to read, and was well written.

[Joanna Johnson]

Again thank you so much everyone!