Chapter 8: Orphanage Heist

Phantom Paranoia, Vertigo, Anaconda, and the clerk go on their mission for Super Demon Baby.

            Phantom Paranoia

“I’ll drive,” said Vertigo, heading towards the driver’s seat of the car that was provided for our mission.

“No!” I exclaimed immediately.  Vertigo glared at me.  “I just mean… you’re a little upset to be driving, don’t you think?”

“Good point,” said the clerk.  “I’ll drive.  I’m an excellent driver.”

Vertigo hesitated, glancing at Anaconda and me, then muttered, “Shotgun.”

We all piled into the car and rode in silence for a while.  I stared out the window, feeling horrible about our little spat.  I wanted to apologize to Vertigo, but then I remembered that she had said way worse things than I had. 

This was weird for me.  I wasn’t used to being in disputes with Vertigo and Nessa. From time to time they would have an argument with each other, but I was usually the one who stayed out of it and helped them get past it.  I hated actually being involved.

I was startled from my thoughts when the clerk suddenly turned on the radio, blaring some alternative rock song and singing loudly along with it.  Vertigo was scowling at him from the passenger’s seat, though I knew for a fact she loved that song.

I sighed.  This mission couldn’t get over soon enough.

*****

I crept into the room of three sleeping children, grabbing a teddy bear, a toy truck, and a Lego set.   It felt strange to commit a crime at night rather than day, but I was beginning to understand why a lot of people do it that way.  It’s so much easier when the children are asleep and don’t see their toys suddenly fly into a floating bag.

“Sorry, kids,” I murmured, shutting their door behind me.  I looked to my right, where Vertigo was supposed to be finishing up her section of the hallway, and to the left, where Anaconda had just come out of one of the rooms. 

“Just go wait in the car,” I whispered, handing him my bag.  “I’ll wait for Vertigo.”

Anaconda nodded and headed toward the car, which was parked a few blocks away.  The clerk had remained in it, in case we needed to make a quick getaway.

I stood in the hallway for a moment longer, expecting Vertigo to appear at any moment.  She and I may not have been getting along at the time, but I had to make sure our mission succeeded.

I moved down the hallway as quietly as possible, until I reached a room with an open door.  I assumed Vertigo was in this one and peered inside. 

This room contained four little girls, all sound asleep.  Vertigo was standing over one, apparently trying to figure out a way to extricate a doll from her hands without waking her up.

I tapped on Vertigo’s shoulder.  She jumped and inhaled sharply.

“Phanta!  What were you thinking?  You could have made me wake her up!” She whispered.

“Sorry,” I whispered back, but my tone was not apologetic.  “I’ll get the doll.  You go wait in the car.”

“I can handle it!  This is my section.  If you’re done with yours, you go wait in the car!” Vertigo murmured angrily, looking at me with disgust.

“I’m the invisible one!  If she wakes up, I won’t get caught.  Use your head, Vertigo!”

“Just because I can’t turn invisible doesn’t mean I can’t do a simple mission by myself!  Jeez!  You’re so full of yourself!  And I am using my head!  My head’s telling me you’re an idiot!”

“Oh, totally.  You’re the one who’s jeopardizing our mission because you’re too stubborn to let me do what I do best.  But I’m the idiot!  You’re the one who’s making this personal, but I’m the one who’s full of myself!  Okay, Vertigo. Whatever you say.  Let’s see you try to take that doll then.”

We both looked down at the girl, who was staring up at us with wide eyes.

“SISTER MARY!!  A SCARY LADY AND A GHOST ARE TRYING TO TAKE MY DOLLY!” the little girl screamed at a surprising volume.  Vertigo wrestled the doll from her hands, and we sprinted out to the hallway, where dozens of sleepy kids were already looking around confusedly.

A nun came out from a room next to the main entrance.  Just as she began to shout something at us, Vertigo and I hit her simultaneously with dizziness and confusion.  She collapsed, and we ran past her on our way out the door.  We sprinted to where the car used to be parked, and stopped in our tracks.  It wasn’t there.  Where it should have been, the clerk and Anaconda were sitting on the curb with a box of donuts between them. 

“Where is the car?”  I asked slowly, trying to remain calm.

“Let’s all have a donut and just calm down,” said the clerk softly, holding up the box toward Vertigo and me.  “You like sprinkles?”

“What did you do?!”  Vertigo demanded.  “We’ve got to get out of here!  The cops will be after us at any moment!”

            “Well then, we seem to be in a bit of pickle,” said the clerk, “because somebody stole the car.”

            “What?!”  Vertigo moved toward the clerk.  I stepped between them in case she decided to get violent.  “That’s just perfect!  Congratulations, you managed to ruin the entire mission!”

              “But what happened?” I asked in frustration.  “Did someone take it at gunpoint?”

              “I went to get us some victory donuts to celebrate a successful mission,” the clerk explained, laughing uncomfortably.  “Which is still possible, if we get as far away from that orphanage as we can and find a way home.”

            “I’ll call Nessa, since I'm, you know, on good terms with her,” I stated with a pointed look at Vertigo, pulling my phone out of my pocket.  Vertigo rolled her eyes.  I spoke to Nessa, and we decided to meet by the donut shop on Maple Road.  She would pick us up with her car and bring us home.   

            We ran to the meeting place, using alleys and shadows to avoid being seen.  When we got there we hid in an alley behind a dumpster until Nessa showed up.  Then we squished ourselves into her small car, Vertigo in the front making eye contact with no one, and rode home silently.

Author's Note

Any review is a great review!

Reviews

[SomeTypeOfArtist]

“SISTER MARY!! A SCARY LADY AND A GHOST ARE TRYING TO TAKE MY DOLLY!” Hahahahahaha, I don't know why I love that line so much! I've always loved the way your chapters have been flowing, and I think the humor like this helps out a lot. I also like how chill the clerk and Anaconda are about their mission being in peril due to their car's disappearance. The arguing between Vertigo and PP was great, although I have to wonder why Nessa would pick them up if they're all still fighting.