Any review is a great review! Just by the way, I never write poetry willingly. Ever. But I wanted to write something about my bed (because I love it so) and the story wasn't working out and I'd just read a really good poem soo... here goes.
My Review
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d'aww, no mention of any evil critters lurking beneath and festering in nightmares whilst asleep? That would've been a nice touch, but then I guess that would've slapped the horror genre on this piece which you probably don't want?
Just a suggestion, perhaps you could work more on this and add that little bit of horror at the end to give it a twist, ya know, lead the reader thinking the bed is a place of security and then suddenly shove the horror of cliched night-things of horror down their throats and make them choke with the shock, heh heh heh.
Other than that, its a rather witty piece ;]
d'aww, no mention of any evil critters lurking beneath and festering in nightmares whilst asleep? That would've been a nice touch, but then I guess that would've slapped the horror genre on this piece which you probably don't want?
Just a suggestion, perhaps you could work more on this and add that little bit of horror at the end to give it a twist, ya know, lead the reader thinking the bed is a place of security and then suddenly shove the horror of cliched night-things of horror down their throats and make them choke with the shock, heh heh heh.
Other than that, its a rather witty piece ;]
Hi I'm Vivian Wallace and I'm 17 :) My friend Randi and I plan on becoming published authors, so we are working on our skills and just having fun by writing a silly super hero story together (S.H.O.V... more..