The Short Tale Of A Tall Girl Named Synergy~

With your body

painted over mine

the mood becomes burgundy

and the wine

becomes

blues

an old tune

carried in a patchwork pocket

of an old man

with youth on his lips

fingertips tapping out a melody

in angel bones

from every rivet

of my spine

seeds

blooms

a stem for the vase of my hips

with your body

painted over mine

 

copyright:2011vssmd/amusemusepress

All Rights Reserved

Reviews

[Ariel B.]

Ohhhh I love this. I love the bookend sentences. I love "the mood becomes burgundy and the wine becomes blues." I love "a stem for the vase of my hips." This is maybe my all-time favourite of yours, at least right now - it's beautiful and perfect and perfectly complete within itself.

[Cafe Reader]

I love, love the Title!!! So you!! The poem is as beautiful as they get!

[Lilly Negoi]

so impressive is the landscape of your imagination - each kaleidoscopic snapshot revealing a new hint of brilliance...

[Reese38]

Your writing has a life all its own that completely permeates the senses.


With your body

painted over mine

the mood becomes burgundy

and the wine

becomes

blues



Perfection.

[Brad]

something soft from you, permeates through the skin and resonates in the bones

[Ed Hart]

with your sweet synergy, painted next to mine

[Aidz]

A swarthy swathe this brush paints over a melody of minor chords. Played like a true master..... :)

[LilyT]

Your color blends in poetry hold the strokes of a master. Seduction, love, ultra emotional possibilities, all presented in brand new shades when touched by your brush.

blues

an old tune

carried in a patchwork pocket

of an old man

with youth on his lips


Your grasp of finesse in presenting perceptions in a very different light are singularly you.

[arbitrary jane]

the imagery here is both precisely honed and original.
the painting of a body in position... beautiful. connoting love as a piece of art.
and the spine as a riveted stem set in a hip vase... perfect.

and then there's this:
the mood becomes burgundy

and the wine

becomes

blues

an old tune

carried in a patchwork pocket

of an old man

with youth on his lips

... in every way a strong, evocative piece of work.
think i'll just sit here and let it soak in for a moment.

[w2de35657u687y4324rf]

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I saw a bit of rape in this. Mostly I saw devirgination, but the line about wine hit me with a new train of thought.
Even if I am entirely wrong in every possible way, the poem is still genius in it's imagery (the old man and his patchwork pocket). Beautiful, beautiful and exquisite work. Well done.

[Dreamer]

Ha, how wonderful. Poetry at its finest. I love it- what else can I say.