~ouch~ I think I stung myself with those damn last lines~ btw this is a poem focused more on nuances of language and mood presentation than personalized content~
My Review
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I agree with firewoman, i was holding my breath and not even realizing it. the first stanza is freakin (i know, a writer should use real words, but sometimes explitives are warranted) amazing. and i love the way the tone slides slowly to a bit acerbic at the end. a lip print, like a fingerprint is different for every person, as you hint at, a fossil of her history. how does one treat fossils, either with reverence and wonder, or with no respect. i think we know how this one treated.
I agree with firewoman, i was holding my breath and not even realizing it. the first stanza is freakin (i know, a writer should use real words, but sometimes explitives are warranted) amazing. and i love the way the tone slides slowly to a bit acerbic at the end. a lip print, like a fingerprint is different for every person, as you hint at, a fossil of her history. how does one treat fossils, either with reverence and wonder, or with no respect. i think we know how this one treated.
Think he'll be looking back in his rear view mirror as that Mack Truck takes his life away...Lust on the mind, and a women scorned doing the wash, I don't think he'll see it coming...
I always enjoy watching your eyes as they peer into that gazing ball of human things , then that tilty look , and shake of your head , and the ink pours ..
Better put some ice on that...damn. Straight top the core with that one. As history repeats over and over again, the spurned wail and the cheaters justify in their own mind.....its crazy stuff really, but happens so often that maybe its just a natural condition made s****y by moral intrepetation....a breaking heart is pretty real though, so maybe not. Nice work.
You capture well the feelings of the other woman and the interesting ambience of the clandestine rendezvous, with its hopes and disappointments, its expectations and excitement but its bitter coffee and blurred imprint. I loved the imagery and association of the lips and the lipstick... and the hard reality of the end
Being the other woman has never looked so sultry. I have never seen lips tell so much. Absolutely adore this. It says more to me than a movie or a conversation with an ignorant friend could ever wish to say. And with that it shall be shelved.