Clear Streams~

I’m going to maintain

Clean lines

Pace my heart within secure bones

Refrain from dragging parables into a panorama of scribbled paper

Or permit the surreal to grip my throat in its flamboyant maw

So I can inhale dew in script

And exhale mist in a hieroglyphic stream

In opposition of stained pixels

Until the simple pressure of my fingertips

Modifies solid into liquid

So as to touch your long hand chisels of ink in the rosetta stone

Trace the shape of your words

Taste them like a blind girl

On a quest for the consummate shape

Of that elusive heart thing

Dripping melody inside the simplicity

Of solid bones

 

 

copyright:2011vssmd/musemusepress

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Reviews

[JelliFyshKissUs]

This seems to be so much more than what the eye beholds. My ears hear a spiritual journey. A meditative mind and heart that wishes to shed the debris of the trivial and time-wasters and find the cleanliness of simplicity, humility...take in the food from scripts of old. And in order to taste the trueness of it, you must be blind to sight of it and delight in it with a refined palate.
This one feeds my soul like no other, my dovely. Thank you.

[paul]

umm... it's amazing, what you can do, with words.

[George Korolog]

Some fantastic lines here, particularly "permit the surreal to grip my throat in its flambouyant maw." I'm going to suggest that the first world of each line should not be capitalized as there is no punctuation, and if not, the poem will look and feel more fluid without the capitalization. Trendy, I know, but in this case, I think it will work better. You might also look at using the page in a creative manner that is not strictly line structured. I have two poems in which I use the page differently, "The House of Terror," and "Listening to James Clay." You might take a look at them. This is a fine piece of work, Selene. Let's stay connected and give and take good feedback with our work.

[alan peter kelly]

you write so immaculately of parables and bones...how your mind ascends on heights resevered for mortal words to peer straight up into the heavens....

[A.A.Romanczuk]

I see stars and rainbows - delightful piece as ever - I don't know what it is - it's that brilliance of Selene-style

[Seshat Nidaba]

'Trace the shape of your words Taste them like a blind girl' - many daring lines here. I like the code, the inherent complexity in your phrasing, the sense that there is cleverness and truth mixed both. This is surely publishable and of a high quality.

[MuSe Ampoule]

Define yourself with inky squiggles and let us roll in your thoughts until the universe breaks. This was powerfully beautiful!
"So as to touch your long hand chisels of ink in the rosetta stone
Trace the shape of your words
Taste them like a blind girl
On a quest for the consummate shape"

[V.B.]

Wow. This is insanely original. Clever word combinations and juxtapositions are half the battle and more, and you absolutely nailed both of those in every single line. This is a remarkable piece of work, Selene--I am awed.

[Sunflower/Sara Kendrick]

Very poeticly written..Enjoyed..Sunflower

[Moflo]

This poem worked really well, I love how you moved from physical to molecular seamlessly. Very vivid description and solid pacing, good job!

[Matthew Kult]

you always know when you are reading a Selene.

Absolutely wonderful. I know I know I am usually much more wordier and usually just ramble on...like now. But I am trying to tighten it up.

Matthew