Smoke And Mirrors~

~undressing haiku~senryu in moist hand~

Hips under pressure

smoke palms skim my  glass surface

mirrors pour spirits

 

Lips sample treasures

strokes balms, summer fragrance blooms

my oils deep in you

 

Chin sweet, wet treacle

dew alms strip wavering bliss

body bow  arched taut

 

Smoke  swirls slit pupils

kiss thrall bends throat into silk

her mirror, his throe

 

 

copyright:2010vssmd/amusemusepress

All Rights Reserved

Reviews

[Pax Analog]

Love it!

Fabulous example of sensual vividness meets transparent mind.

I think this is the second piece of yours that triggered thoughts especially of Peter Greenaway's The Pillow Book. Since the film is about body calligraphy, and you are both tattooed, quasi-Asian-flavored and an intensely visual Neptune-eyed poet, it's probably a permanent referent.

"Smoke swirls slit pupils/kiss thrall bends throat into silk/her mirror, his throe"

Those killer closing lines just might be my fave of yours yet.

[AlieahRose]

IT IS A GOOD WRITE...
AWSOME USE OF DETAIL...

[No use.]

cordial twists perfectly wrung around my harlot bone

[Linear]

Somewhat sensual i feel
feel the skin
beneath my silken hand
mixed in passion
and shrouded in love

excellent poetry

[Zack Burton]

This seemingly-random collection of words is pretty fine work. Although I like the imagery, I must be blind to the rhythm in it. I seems a bit too jagged for my tastes. Of course, I like jagged, but this just doesn't catch my eye.

But you're a great writer regardless of what I think.

[Matthew Kult]

Excellent use of the 5 - 7- 5 format. Restricting yet nothing can hold down the power of the pen. Great work.

Regards,

Matthew

[Rikkevi Rue]

Intoxicatingly erotic! I won't describe my physical reaction here...;~)

I particularly like the whimsical ambiguity of the lines, "mirrors pour spirits" "chin sweet, wet treacle" (my favorite line in the the poem) and "kiss thrall bends throat into silk" as these invite the reader to contribute his OWN context to the piece and heir ephemeral quality serves to augment the overall "dreamlike" or fantasy feel of the work. Superbly phrased!

You had me enthralled my dear right from the start and as it unfolded i would have followed your write even if it led me over a cliff! I validate the sublime handle you wield over sensuality!

btw-I am no master of senryu (in fact little more than a tyro!) but i see no satiric or ironic treatment in your piece...unless perhaps the conclusive "his throe," however the piece is so engaging that hardly matters as the countless involving facets enwrap...

[TAO]

See, this is why you're among the greats in my book. So I fall off the band wagon now and then, but whenever I get back, and have a chance to be taken by these spells you speak, I'm once again kin to wonder. I won't say well done to you; can't ever be enough. :)

[Jordan]

Very nice! You managed to use the smoke and mirrors reference without sounding kitschy.

(On a personal note: I feel like the word treacle is the grossest word in the English language) :)

[scott007]

A nice piece of writing there. I can feel the emotion and passion whilst reading it. I like this alot, keep it up and good luck to you in the future :)