Bleeding Onyx~

 

my paintbrush

my soul

exposed

watercourse

epic peel

off karmic wheel

fingertips

citrus human rind

combined

mulberry spiral skin

ripping curls

torn ribbon girl

a pile of dreams in stains

left in footprint crush

rebuff

on all fours

bones on display

milky sway

smears of ink eating neon light

she fights

only herself

nature a hum

venus on a broken shell

become

becoming

succumb

eyes a void

avoid

devoid of hope

fingertips

dripping onyx

voice box

open

polyphonic

she pours the night

working it past her throat

into her mouth

shedding

a second skin

begin

again

origins of sin

amen!

center of attention

crucified adoration

numinous mutation

pinned to velvet

she vanishes

visible in onyx

rebirth

supersonic

decanted

in leather

ironic

liquid girl

wine girl

sweet

complete

dripping stain

on every hungry mouth

black out

smiling girl

taking it all with a granule of blood

painting it all with her onyx mud

lock and load

a song

hey ho

let’s go

she laughs

attacks

herself

a spot of ink

streaming

pain

pool of rain

bleeding onyx

preordained

 

copyright:2010vssmd/amusemusepress

All Rights Reserved

 

 

Author's Note

add on: this girl likes constructive criticism served with suggestions~ in answer to the perception of 'pretentious' below me~ the font was chosen for its similarity to ink stains and meant to enhance the poem~and not to elicit snarky comments~ thank you and have a nice day~

Reviews

[Khitii Lae-Ahn]

I Absolutely Love this...
It is...
heated marrow seeping from bone onto thin-as-eggshell fine china...pitch ink pouring from a broken pen leaking onto balmy palms of ivory hands...a bloody-stain splatter on screaming magnolia blossoms
This Is Exquisite!!!!!

[Solitaire-P0ette]

one word-------- mesmerizing.

[loowzerX]

wonderful

[Dionysios]

slightly sinful with a captivating flow. I close my eyes and feel enchanted...

[alan peter kelly]

ah...blitzkrieg bop...few words and the soundtrack of my life is reignited....a seeming stream of consciousness...a perfect paradox of delicious word and phrase that licks a flame across every sense of sense yet offers a juxtaposition of a paradise forced to lose then rediscover...the religious allusions might best be served with a "shedding" rather than a "shaking" but that is not a criticism...the piece is transcendant of such notions but seeing as you asked for suggestions ;)...this onyx is no mere ornament...the bands of differing colours are a cacophony of nail and claw...pain is as preordained as the less significant and transient sexual elements...this onyx is another ruby in the chest cavity oh Queen of The Surreal

[My Fair Lady]

Well... I love the font and color you chose for this piece. It looks like it could be handwriting. In some of darkest hours I have jotted down random pain.. then rediscovered it days, weeks and even years later on the back of a bank statement or other random paper I found at the time. This piece reminds me of that..wow.

[Jonathan De Elvira]

I felt the confusion, pain, joy, metaphor substance, bold worded and many more...This poem was awesome...and dark...so dark....bloody genius...

[Vicky Zhuang Yi-Yin]

I always feel that your work has something to tell me other than what the words are actually saying. Just my honest opinion. This made me go speechless. Great job!
-Yin

taking it all with a granule of blood
painting it all with her onyx mud
I liked this such a awesome use of metaphors made me really think what this poem is about and it made me feel both happy sad and sorrowful - gave me alot of memmories this piece. Really enjoyed it - well done Selene!

[Ni1408]

Bit pretentious looking and don't like the flow of words. The good thing about it is the word association.

[Robin]

sharp obisidian tones ~